This is sort of difficult.  It concerns my uncle, who, over the last few years, has... rediscovered his faith?  I suppose that works.  He's completely changed his lifestyle, which isn't a bad thing.  No smoking, no drinking.  Fantastic.  However, he's also completely changed his personality.  He has a growing list of things he can't watch, listen to, or say, all because he's “christian".  He's become so... judgmental of everyone around him and is alienating his family.  I wasn't under the impression that to be "christian" you had to give up everything in life that you enjoyed.  He doesn't laugh anymore; at least, he doesn't around us.  Can you give me any guidance on how to respect his faith and understand his choices?  He was always a good man… an EMT, police officer, husband, and father.  He's always believed, but he also lived.  Now, it's like he's set himself, and everyone else, to standards that can't be met.  And he's very vocal with his views.  I just don't understand him anymore.  Any advice or insight you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
Disheartened Niece

Dear Disheartened Niece,

There is a fine line between removing worldliness from our lives and secluding ourselves from life – it sounds like your uncle may be having trouble finding that balance.  Jesus clearly tells us to purify our hearts and minds (Jas 4:8).  However, we are also told to enjoy the wholesome blessings of this life (Eccl 3:13).  Christ lived a perfectly sinless life (Heb 4:15), and yet, he was often accused of being too friendly with the lost (Matt 11:19).

There is a balance between living in the world, but not being of the world (1 Cor 5:9-10).  If we remove ourselves from all society, we will never be able to reach those who so desperately need God’s Word (Mk 16:15).  We are warned against religion that finds its strength in self-deprecation (1 Tim 4:1-5).  Our strength should be found in the love of Christ (Jhn 3:16) and in His Word (Rom 10:17).  Hopefully, some of these verses might allow you to have a dialogue with your uncle.

I believe God will forgive every sin except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.  I am confused though.  I know we are all sinners, but what if you commit sin after you accept Jesus as Savior?  I know a person that committed a vile sexual sin after she accepted Jesus as her Savior.  Is it possible to repent of that sin?  I believe she truly believes Jesus died for all sin, and He is the only path to salvation.

Sincerely,
Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

All sin can be repented of and forgiven.  1 Jn 1:9 makes it clear that if we confess our sins, Jesus is ready to forgive us of all unrighteousness.  There is no single act that is so evil that Jesus’ blood couldn’t wash it away (1 Jn 1:7).  Many of the first century christians had many horrible sins in their pasts (1 Cor 6:9-11).  The key is to get up every time you fall down (Pr 24:16).

Is it a sin to not have sex with your spouse?

Sincerely,
Marital Duty

Dear Marital Duty,

Yes, it is a sin unless it is done by mutual agreement.  Paul teaches on this subject in 1^st Corinthians.  1 Cor 7:1-2 states that one of the purposes of marriage is to fulfill sexual urges in a way that keeps both spouses free from the temptation of immoral sexual behavior.  Since this is one of the purposes of marriage, neither the husband nor the wife have the right to deny each other (1 Cor 7:3-4).  The only exception to this rule is that they may mutually agree to separate for a time (1 Cor 7:5-6).

I never ask for forgiveness right after I sin; am I still forgiven by God, and will I still be accepted into heaven with the love in my heart for Christ?

Sincerely,Worried
Dear Worried,

Your confusion is a common one because the Bible never explicitly states what happens to the sins that we didn’t specifically ask for forgiveness for.  There is no specific verse that deals with this issue; instead, we must look at some of the concepts that are scattered throughout the Scriptures.

1. Jesus is our Advocate (1 Jhn 2:1-3).  Jesus is our High Priest, and He mediates between us and God (1 Tim 2:5).  Jesus wants to intercede for your sins, and He desires to help you get into heaven.
2. God doesn’t desire anyone to be separated from Him (2 Pet 3:9).  No one will ever accidentally go to hell, and no one will accidently miss out on heaven because they didn’t have an opportunity to pray for forgiveness right before they died.  God is ready and willing to forgive (Ps. 86:5).
3. God expects our obedience, and all forgiveness is dependent upon our willingness to draw near to Him with obedient hearts (1 Pet 1:14).  The Bible says that our obedience to Him purifies our souls.  God forgives the faithful and obedient servant (Heb 10:38).
4. John paints a beautiful picture for us in 1 Jhn 1:7 by saying, “If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” The word ‘walk’ means ‘to live continually’, and whenever we have that relationship but we accidentally sin, the blood of Jesus continually cleanses us of our sins.

When you consider all of these concepts, the truth on the subject becomes evident; we are forgiven as we ask for forgiveness, and God gives grace in those times when we are unable or ignorant to ask for it.  So continue to ask and pray for forgiveness, but you can also have peace that God’s grace will protect your soul as you do your best to live faithfully.

I've been married for over a decade and born again for that long also, but there is a sinful problem in my life.  I haven't physically slept with anyone, but I struggle with flirting, porn, and putting myself in compromising situations.  I talked to many people (pastors, friends, etc., even my wife).  I still haven't overcome it yet.  I exhausted these talks with my wife; it's starting to bring her down, so now, I keep it to myself.  Is there any hope of freedom for me, or am I stuck this way for life?  If you can help me, write back, please.

Sincerely,
Enslaved

Dear Enslaved,

The Bible makes several statements about sexual sins and how to avoid them:

1. Flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  Keeping yourself out of compromising situations is a logistical decision.  Put accountability software like Covenant Eyes on your computer and only use it in a public area.  Stay away from social situations and places that are a temptation.  In short, don’t put yourself somewhere where you can make a bad decision.
2. Replace bad habits with good ones (Lk 11:24-26).  Make a decision to court and flirt with your wife.  Find joy in the wife of your youth (Pr 5:18).  Make it your personal campaign to rekindle the joy and happiness of your marriage.  Take all of that wasted energy and apply it to a godly romance.  Your current choices are destroying your wife and marriage… this will do the exact opposite.

These two habits are stressed over and over again in the Scriptures.  The last thing that we would recommend is what you are already doing.  By using this site and talking to others, you are surrounding yourself with good counsel (Pr 15:22).