My question is: are there limitations on telling a lie?  My wife and I have been separated for nineteen months.  My wife is in a relationship presently and seems to be happy even though we are not divorced.  I pay child support for our daughter.  She has asked me to refinance my home and lower the house payment in order for her to make the house payments.  In order to do this, the mortgage company requires that I live there... which will not happen.  If I refinance and answer the question correctly, I will be lying and committing fraud.  Yet, if I don’t, they will lose the house because they are not able to make the mortgage payment.  I want to do the right thing according to God’s Word.

Sincerely,
From The Outside Looking In

Dear From The Outside Looking In,

Lying is never right.  God tells us to be plain and honest people – let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’ (Matt 5:37).  Doing the right thing is hardest when it costs us something… but that is part of taking up our cross and following Christ (Matt 16:24).  Be honest with your wife (who should not be in a relationship with another man… but that is a separate issue), and make it clear that you cannot refinance a home you aren’t living in – that is the law.  Who knows, it may make room for you to have a conversation about reconciliation (1 Cor 7:10-11).

Is it wrong for someone to go to Las Vegas?  I mean, is Las Vegas really “Sin City”?  I lived in Jacksonville, Florida, and it’s turning into a sin city.

Sincerely,
Citizen Sorrow

Dear Citizen Sorrow,

It isn’t wrong to travel to Las Vegas, but many of the reasons people go to Las Vegas are sinful.  Gambling and prostitution are two of the biggest draws to Las Vegas, and both are wrong.  Prostitution is clearly condemned in the Scripture (Pr 23:27-28), and gambling is also spoken against (read “Gambling” for further details).  Like righteous Lot living in Sodom and Gomorrah, righteous people can (and do) live in Las Vegas, but they are constantly vexed by the evils they see (2 Pet 2:7).

I am forty-three and have been a christian since I was nineteen.  Since then, I have seen so much judgment, condemnation, hatred, and intolerance within the church towards other christians.  Finding a church and other christians that don't make me want to gouge my eyes out has been impossible.  The Bible seems to be very contradictory, and God claims to be loving, but according to the Bible, He is more angry than loving.  My life has been horrible, and Christianity has brought no relief.  A friend of mine who is a Nichren Buddhist has introduced me to Buddhist chanting.  In one month, I have gotten more peace and relief from that than from being a christian.  I have always felt that my pain and prayers have fallen on deaf ears by God.  I am very conflicted and am standing at a crossroad.  I really don't know what direction to take.  Why has Christianity been such a dissatisfying experience for me?  Why has every church member I have ever known been such a hypocrite and fake?  I would like to believe that God really wants us to be happy, but my personal experiences have not been the case.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Ohm

Dear Ohm,

Corruption, hypocrisy, and scandal have been hallmarks of religion for as long as there has been religion… even in Jesus’ day.  The entire chapter of Matthew 23 is devoted to Christ lambasting the hypocrisy of the religious leaders of His day.  Paul warned that false teachers would commandeer Christ’s message for their own gain (2 Tim 4:3), and Peter sternly rebuked many of his contemporaries for their evil motives that would cause people (just like yourself) to doubt the truth because of the corruption of the messengers (2 Pet 2:1-2).  But there is hope!

Just like in Jesus’ day, there are pockets of people who actually practice what God preaches.  Most churches that proclaim Christ aren’t doing what the Bible teaches and are warping and twisting Jesus’ message (Gal 1:6-7), but there are congregations that truly do want to do only what the Bible says… people who are hearing and sincerely trying to do what God teaches (Jas 1:22-25).  We here at AYP remember that feeling of frustration with the religious confusion and hypocrisy.  We remember what it was like to feel frustrated to the point of giving up – and then we found the truth and people who love each other and love the Lord.

We can help you find a congregation in your area that can show you that there are sincere, honest people trying to serve God.  Christianity isn’t complicated when people do it God’s way.  Don’t give up just yet.  If you are willing to give it a try, we would be happy to help find a congregation in your area.  Just e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

I am afraid of the end time; I don’t want to die and go to hell.  I don’t want to burn forever.  I want to wage war on the evil new world order.  I am with sin and am lost on a path which once was clear.  I know Jesus Christ, but I am consumed by hatred.  My judgement is clouded by alcohol; I love my girl and my family so much; I feel like a piece of paper that can be folded no more.  I hope it isn’t too late for me; please help me.  I don’t know how to repent.

Sincerely,
Battling Demons

Dear Battling Demons,

We've thought very long and hard about how to answer your question, and the more we think about it, the more we cannot give you any answer that the alcohol wouldn't corrupt.  You've got to get help.  God talks about the destructive effects of alcohol in Proverbs 23.  Alcohol brings sorrow, anger, suffering, and health issues (Pr 23:29-30).  Alcoholism is such a horrific disease because it deceives you into thinking that one drink (or one more drink) will make life easier... but it never does (Pr 23:31-32).  Alcohol distorts our view of life and perverts our emotions (Pr 23:33).

You need a new beginning.  We would be happy to help you find support in your area and a facility to help you start fresh.  Until then, you won't be ready to handle the other issues of life.  It isn't too late.  You can conquer this.

I've been married to my rapist now for twenty-eight years.  I'm not claiming "marital rape", but rather, he raped me when I was sixteen years old.  After several times, I ended up pregnant, and my parents made me marry him.  Over the years, he has cheated more than been faithful, and he has in the past broken my bones.  All these years, he has had a porn addiction to which he still prefers to come in from work and view his garbage on the Internet.  When I complained to someone about it, they apparently confronted him about it, and he apparently told this person that I view this garbage with him.  I do not view such garbage.  I do not stoop to his level.  Really needing your help.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
In Bad Company

Dear In Bad Company,

You have every right to leave him… and for your safety and spiritual health, you probably should.  Matt 19:9 makes it clear that you have a right to divorce your spouse when they have committed adultery (you said he has on multiple occasions).  Abusive husbands paint a picture that their wives can’t leave them… this simply isn’t true.  Even if he hadn’t committed adultery, you should separate from him for your own safety, and if there are still children in the home – leave for their safety as well.  As a victim of domestic violence, you should find a safe place to (at the very least) temporarily move to.  If you need help finding a safe haven for battered women… please e-mail us, and we will help you find somewhere.  Your husband isn’t treating you in a biblical way (1 Pet 3:7), and you have to act.