Why does God command the people of Israel not to kill, but then He orders them to kill enemies of Israel… even the women, children, and livestock?  Then Jesus tells His disciples to "turn the other cheek."  I haven't been a christian for very long, but I've always been confused about this.

Sincerely,
Double Standard

Dear Double Standard,

The Hebrew word used for ‘kill’ in the Ten Commandments literally means ‘murder’.  There is a difference between killing someone in self-defense and pre-meditated, intentional murder of another human being.  The Bible has plenty of examples of faithful people going to war (David killed Goliath in battle – 1 Sam 17:49-50).  The Bible is also full of examples of capital punishment for certain crimes (Num 15:35).  Num 35:15-16 makes a distinction between accidentally killing someone and premeditated murder.  A police officer may have to kill someone while serving the community, but that isn’t murder.  There is a difference.

It is wrong for an individual to purposefully seek to harm another unless they are acting as an agent of the government (God has given national governments the authority to use ‘the sword’ of punishment – Rom 13:4) or reacting in self-defense.  God commanded the nation of Israel to kill in times of war, but He condemns vigilante murder.  The teaching of “turn the other cheek” (Matt 5:39) is an individual command that applies to everyday living.  The context has nothing to do with war-time actions.

Is an age gap relationship wrong?  My parents tell me it is against God, and I don't believe that’s true.  I think God wants us to find the right person no matter what their age or gender.

Sincerely,
All-Approving

Dear All-Approving,

There is nothing wrong with there being an age gap between spouses.  In fact, one of the most beautiful romances in all the Bible was between an older man and a younger woman.  When Ruth made it clear to Boaz that she was willing to marry him, Boaz said, “May you be blessed by the LORD, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.” (Ruth 3:10).

However, there is a major problem with your statement that gender doesn’t matter.  Homosexuality is wrong and is clearly condemned by Scripture (Rom 1:26-27, Jude 1:7).

There has been something that I have been really struggling with; I am in a wonderful relationship, and my boyfriend treats me very well.  He is very sweet, considerate, and always takes care of me.  I have no problems with our relationship, but I have trouble dealing with his past.  When he was younger, he walked away from God and made many mistakes, but he has since then changed, come back to God, and put his act together.  What I struggle with is he has had multiple partners, and this really bothers me.  My question then is: how do I handle the feelings I have about this? Because he is a very godly man now, I just am having a hard time dealing with jealousy and insecurities from knowing he has been with other women.

Sincerely,
The New Girl

Dear The New Girl,

Sin can be forgiven, but its consequences still affect us.  There is nothing abnormal about being bothered with your boyfriend’s checkered past.  God’s design for marriage has always been one man and one woman for a lifetime (1 Cor 7:2).  Your boyfriend’s previous choices, which he openly admits were wrong, have defiled and marred the beginnings of your relationship (Heb 13:4).  Scripturally, you have no romantic obligation to him one way or the other.  You have to decide whether you can honestly let his old baggage go.  If you believe him to be a good and trustworthy man now (and it sounds like you do), then move forward knowing that all christians come with baggage (1 Cor 6:11).

I have a question.  I was thinking about getting into modeling because my friend is into it, and she is trying to get me to.  She wants me to be a ring card girl with her, but my family said that it is a sin to show off my body like that and to be around that kind of environment.

Sincerely,
Looking For Career Advice

Dear Looking For Career Advice,

Your family is right.  The women that “prance” around boxing rings with the cards that indicate what round of the match it is are only there for one reason – to feed the lust of the flesh (1 Jn 2:16).  Dressing immodestly is a sin (1 Tim 2:9).  Furthermore, being around people that promote provocative sinful attitudes will corrupt you (1 Cor 15:33).  We are affected by those we are around, and our friendships and work environment either build us up or tear us down.  Listen to your family; they have your best interests in mind.

Why are there fake christian people who say they are christians and do bad stuff?  They think all they have to do is to believe in God, and then they do want they want.

Sincerely,
Tired Of The Charade

Dear Tired Of The Charade,

There have been, and always will be, people who are hypocritical in their faith (Matt 6:2).  Make note of that behavior and remember to never be that way yourself.  We can’t do anything about others, but we can examine ourselves (2 Cor 13:5) and make sure that we are faithful.  Christianity is about more than just believing in God… even the demons believe (Jas 2:19).  Real christians combine their belief with works (Jas 2:17-18).  God wants more than just lip service… not everyone who calls on His name will be saved (Matt 7:21-23).  Don’t just look like a christian; live like one (Matt 23:25-26).