I have met a woman whom I've fallen in love with.  She has been separated from her husband (who committed several acts of adultery) for over a year and a half.  We wish to marry after the divorce is final; we are waiting on the last court date, which will make it final.  But both of us being believers, we are wanting to know if our relationship will be blessed by God, or are we adulterers ourselves in the eyes of God by starting a relationship before the divorce is final?  I'm good friends with her soon-to-be ex, and I know he has committed countless acts of sexual immorality with other women since they separated.  We both want to have a family appeasing to God, and she already has kids from him.  I guess it’s more of when is the divorce finalized in the eyes of God, so that she is free to find someone else?

Sincerely,
The Other Guy

Dear The Other Guy,

The Lord tells us to be above reproach (1 Tim 6:14) and to do what is honorable in the sight of all men (Rom 12:17)… being in a relationship with a woman who is still married (under any circumstances) violates those commands.  She has every right to divorce her husband (Matt 19:9), but until that divorce is final – she is married.  Therefore, if you are seeing her, then you are seeing another man’s wife.  Regardless of what may be in the future, that is the situation right now.  Each day has enough troubles of its own (Matt 6:34)… deal with tomorrow’s circumstances when they come.  Today, you need to keep your distance and show respect for her marriage, regardless of what duress it is under.

Hello.  First off, I'm seventeen and was raised Episcopal.  Just until recently, about eight months ago, I lost my faith.  I began challenging the Lord and His true existence.  I experimented in other religions.  I am ashamed to say that in my teenage angst and anger, I looked into Satanism and Nihilism.  I am ashamed to say that I have denied my belief in the Lord and Jesus Christ to many people who have asked me if I hold faith.  I have sinned greatly in various ways.

Now, as I am preparing to move out, possibly join the military, and become more independent – I wish for the Lord to enter my life once again.  The problem is that I feel that I am not worthy, and the Lord has already damned me to hell.  I have never cursed the Holy Spirit, but I still think that if the Lord were smart enough, He would have abandoned me already.  So my question is: am I far from salvation and redemption?  Is there ever a way that I can have God back on my side and His love in my heart?  I want Him to hear my prayers and hear my praises.

Sincerely,
Seeking His Love

Dear Seeking His Love,

God doesn’t desire anyone to perish in hell.  Jesus came to die for the sins of the whole world (Jhn 3:16).  God specifically says that if someone returns from their wicked ways, He will forgive them (Ezek 18:21-23).  We return to God through faith in His Son and repentance of our old lives (Acts 20:21).  Take the enthusiasm that you regret spending on Satanism, Nihilism, etc. and apply it to following every word of the Bible (Rom 10:17).  Christianity is about more than just calling upon the Lord (Matt 7:21-23); it is about letting His Word guide our lives.  If you are a part of a congregation that is devoted to Bible loyalty (1 Tim 3:15 – not all congregations are faithful to the Bible; we would be happy to help you find a church in your area), and you have done what the Bible says you must do to be saved (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved” for specifics on that subject), then you will be able to comfortably say that God hears your prayers, and your sins are forgiven.

If you marry at a young age without knowing the consequences of divorce, are you still held accountable if a divorce were to happen?

Sincerely,
Youthful Impulse

Dear Youthful Impulse,

Yes.  There are many choices that we make in life that we don’t fully comprehend, but that doesn’t remove the consequences of those choices.  If you are driving down the highway and fail to note the speed limit… ignorance won’t stop the police officer from giving you a ticket.  When mankind makes choices in ignorance, those choices still affect us (1 Pet 1:14).  A marriage is a marriage – there are no exceptions.

If you take the vows of marriage, and one of the couple takes the vows with deceitful intention… are you married in the eyes of God?

Sincerely,
My Word Is My Bond

Dear My Word Is My Bond,

Unfortunately for the sincere-hearted partner, yes they are.  A vow is a vow.  God consistently emphasizes within the Scripture that we should stand by our word (Matt 5:37).  Marriage is a sacred bond that isn’t meant to be quickly loosed (Mk 10:9).  Solomon warns that breaking a vow is a truly heinous thing (Eccl 5:5).  Regardless of the intent behind the marriage (many people get married for the wrong reasons all the time), a vow is a vow.

How a godly person behaves toward their unbelieving or unkind spouse will be noted by God, and it can make a difference (1 Cor 7:12-14).  How you behave as a spouse (regardless of the behavior of your partner) will store up treasures in heaven and impact lives here on earth (1 Pet 2:18-19).

I'm worried.  I don't go to church.  I don't pray.  I do good deeds, and I try to live right, but my friends keep saying I am gonna go to hell because I believe in evolution and the Big Bang.  Will I end up in hell?

Sincerely,
Good Enough?

Dear Good Enough,

Though evolution and the Big Bang are worthwhile issues, they aren’t the core values that impact our eternity – Jesus is.  Jesus made a radical claim when He walked this earth; He claimed that sin had created a giant rift between mankind and God (Rom 6:23) and that He had come to heal that rift (Jhn 3:16).  Either Jesus is telling the truth, and He is the only way to receive reconciliation with God in order that we may go to heaven (Jhn 14:6), or Jesus was a liar and should be disregarded like all other crazy people.

The validity of Jesus’ claims stand or fall on the authenticity of Bible.  If God wrote the Bible, then Jesus is the only way to heaven, and all His teachings must become our roadmap to life.  We here at AYP believe that the evidence very clearly points toward the Bible being divinely inspired and unique among literature.  Read the article “Who Wrote The Bible?” for our favorite evidence that the Bible is God’s Word.

It is a sign of your character that you are anxious and worried about this issue.  Where we will spend eternity is the most important question we have to answer in this life.  We believe Jesus is God’s Son and that He is the redeemer of our souls when we put our faith in Him (1 Pet 1:9).  If after seeing the evidence we present on this site (and if you have more questions, please continue to ask them), you agree that the Bible is God’s Word – then praying, attending a faithful church (we can help you find one – not all churches follow the Bible), and all the other details of behavior fall into line.  We aren’t saved by doing good deeds; we are saved by faith in Jesus… good deeds are just part of a living and obedient faith (Jas 2:17-18).

If you have further questions about what it takes to be saved, the Bible, Jesus, or any other spiritual concerns, do not hesitate to e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.