I started going to church at three years old, and I’m a christian (as far as I know), but my question is: how do christians live?  I came from dancing, drinking, etc., but now I am trying to live like a christian, but I don't know how.

Sincerely,
Starting Fresh

Dear Starting Fresh,

Christianity is about living by faith and knowing that God will reward us for seeking Him (Heb 11:6).  Our first act of faith is to become a christian; since it sounds like you aren’t completely sure that you are one, we recommend you read our post “What Must I Do To Be Saved?”.

After becoming a christian, you must begin to grow and practice what the Bible says (1 Pet 2:2).  A large part of that growing process is becoming an active member in a faithful congregation that can teach and encourage you (Heb 10:24-25).  Not every church is doing what God says, and it is important that you search for a congregation that is faithfully preaching and teaching the Bible.  We have an article entitled “Finding A Church” that can help you search for a congregation.  We would also be happy to help you find a congregation in your area.  If you would like our help, e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will try to put you in contact with a congregation nearby.

Hello, I watched a program on TV about this small African tribe.  The people of this tribe were amazingly kind and welcoming, but they didn't even know we have been to the moon or of Jesus.  They believed in different gods, and they were brought up that way from birth.  Their whole tribe is kind of separated from the rest of the world.  There has to be hundreds of these same kinds of situations out there; what happens to these people when they die?

Sincerely,
Hermit Helper

Dear Hermit Helper,

What God does with the African tribe that is isolated from society is between Him and them.  We know that God doesn’t hold people accountable for things that they cannot do (2 Cor 8:11-12).  We also know that He says all mankind is without excuse because the Creation speaks of His greatness (Rom 1:20).  We also know that God has a certain expectation that we will seek Him out (Matt 7:7-10).  All of these principles must be balanced out when considering the fate of isolated peoples.

Ultimately, the Lord is judge… a righteous one (2 Tim 4:8).  The Lord doesn’t desire any of the wicked to perish (Ezek 18:23).  He will fitly and properly judge all mankind.

According to 1 Corinthians 5:9, we are not to associate ourselves with sinful people; how are we supposed to try and help them if we shouldn't be hanging around them?

Sincerely,
Love From A Distance

Dear Love From A Distance,

In order to understand 1 Cor 5:9, we have to read the rest of the chapter.  Chapter five of first Corinthians is dealing with a christian who had decided to return to a wicked lifestyle (1 Cor 5:1).  Instead of rebuking this sinning brother, the Corinthian church was accepting his immoral lifestyle (1 Cor 5:2).  Paul was rebuking the congregation for not disciplining this wayward christian.  The church has the responsibility to discipline willfully sinning brethren – we do this by not associating with them until they repent (1 Cor 5:11).  This responsibility is only in regards to those who are within the church – not those outside of it (1 Cor 5:12-13).  God wants us to spend time with the lost, so we might win them to Christ (Mk 2:16-17).  We are to live in the world (1 Cor 5:10) as shining lights (Matt 5:14) to those who don’t know Christ.

I am a saved person and believe that Jesus died for my sins, and now I am saved and love my Lord.  I have been married to my husband for five years, and his children have treated me with hatred and contempt.  My husband is a christian, can lay on hands, and speak in tongues.  But instead of stopping their bad behavior, he lets them continue, and he says their behavior is my fault.  I do not smile or have joy, only if I'm in church.  My question is: can I commit suicide and still go to heaven?  Just can't take much more days of crying and hurt.

Sincerely,
Not A Wicked Stepmother

Dear Not A Wicked Stepmother,

Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide.  Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness.  Therefore, in most cases, it would be fair to say that suicide will send you to hell.  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.

The only reason we here at AYP hesitate to say, “All people who commit suicide go to hell,” is because God never specifically makes that statement.  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

There is always a way of escape from the temptation to sin (1 Cor 10:13).  There are other options, and there is help.  If you'd like someone in your area to help you through your struggle and the conflicting messages you are receiving, we would be happy find a faithful congregation in your area to help bring you comfort and truth.  Please don't give up hope.

The Lord does provide relief through His Word (Acts 20:32).  From what you have said about speaking in tongues, laying on of hands, etc. – we fear that you may not be getting the full picture of what the Lord’s will is for His church and family (1 Tim 3:15).  We know of many preachers across the country ready and willing to help people like yourself come to a more complete understanding of the Lord’s ways.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org if you would like a preacher from your area to contact you.

Two years ago, I was divorced from an abusive marriage.  I have been dating a christian man for about a year and a half.  I'm forty-six; he is fifty-three.  About six months, into our relationship we became intimate.  We have been having sex now for about a year.  We are very committed to each other (not sure about marriage).  He introduced me to a wonderful church, and I have become "spirit filled".  Jesus is my Lord and Savior.  Recently, I went through a class called "Freedom in Christ".  I had to ask forgiveness for my sexual immorality and pledge to myself and Christ that I will remain pure until marriage.  My boyfriend is in Alaska for two months; when he returns, how do I approach this?  What if he wants to end our relationship?  I had no problem jumping into the sack with him before he left, and now when he comes back, I don’t know how to approach this with him.  Please help.

Sincerely,
Fresh Start

Dear Fresh Start,

If in doubt, be honest.  You’ve made a decision to put Christ first in your life and are hoping that your boyfriend will respect that.  If he does, then you know what kind of man he is and can move forward in a moral courtship.  If he doesn’t respect that, he isn’t the kind of man the Lord would want you to be yoked to (2 Cor 6:14).  The truth has a freeing effect upon our lives (Jhn 8:32).  Be honest, be forthright, and be firm.  No matter what happens – fleeing sexual immorality is the right decision (1 Cor 6:18).  May you continue your journey to serve the Lord and seek truth (Eph 4:15); we applaud you for taking this very important step.