Is the instruction in Hebrews 13, to be hospitable to strangers, given to the church or simply individuals?  If it applies to the church, how would one distinguish a Christian stranger from a non-Christian stranger since our benevolence is limited to Christians?

Sincerely,
Giving

Dear Giving,

It is true that as a congregation, a local church’s work is limited to caring for the needy Christians, but Heb 13:2 is a command to individual Christians.  There is a difference between what we can do as individuals and what we can do as the church united (for example, 1 Tim 5:9-11 says the church can only provide for the needs of certain kinds of widows, but we as individuals can take care of whatever type of widows we want). Hebrews 13 involves a lot of commands that clearly apply to individuals – like how to take care of your marriage (Heb 13:4).  The command to be hospitable and entertain strangers is an individual command that we all should personally heed.

Hi, it's been a while since I've asked you a question.  I have had it in my conscience recently, something that I need to get off my chest.  I have recently been talking to an ex-girlfriend who I care about a lot.  We were together before I was saved, and I broke up with her for a couple of problems in me and us.  We moved really fast, and we had premarital sex.  This decision sparked selfish urges in me that originally started when I first saw porn magazines in middle school.  I had seen them from time to time, and the feelings grew because I was living in the world.  What we did put me over the edge, and I cheated on her; it was long distance.  She still doesn't know about it.

About seven months later, I broke up with her because I knew there was something wrong with me, and these urges couldn't be controlled by me alone.  I set a course to find God, and through many falls, I finally was saved.  Before I left her, I gave her a Bible and told her that I didn't feel comfortable with things we did and that I needed to leave her to find redemption.  She is living as a christian now but still young in the Word.  Through my years of experience, God has strengthened me not to fall and that  should confide in Jesus and my brothers for prayer and accountability.  We have recently started talking again, and I still see her as the person I want to be with for the rest of my life.

My question is: If I want to make it right and be with her, should I tell her all my secrets?  This is what I feel I'm led to do before I go any further with talking to her.

Sincerely,
A Lot Of Water Under The Bridge

Dear A Lot Of Water Under The Bridge,

You should be open with her about your past for two reasons:

1. Your conscience is bothering you about this, and you should always strive to have a pure conscience before God and man (1 Tim 3:9, 1 Tim 1:5).
2. God highly esteems honesty and truthfulness (Pr 24:26, Lk 8:15).

One of the hallmarks of a faithful life is the willingness to have our lives revealed by the light of truth (Jhn 3:19-21).  The truth always sets us free (Jhn 8:32).  You made it clear that you would like to see this relationship progress toward marriage someday.  Marriage is a commitment that makes your two lives into a shared existence (Eph 5:31).  Every healthy marriage is built upon Christ (Eph 5:23), love (Eph 5:28, 1 Cor 13:4-7), respect (Eph 5:33), and devotion (Eph 5:31, 1 Cor 7:33).  None of those things can properly exist with deception as the foundation.  It is better to tell the truth and lose her than to build a marriage upon lies (Pr 23:23).

I've lost my job and I have a family to take care of. What are God's promises about my financial situation?

Sincerely,
At A Loss

Dear At A Loss,

We are so sorry for what you are going through.  Here are some verses we have taken comfort in during times of great stress, loss, or financial difficulty:

• I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. (Ps 37:25)
• And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose. (Rom 8:28)
• Therefore do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matt 6:31-33)

God guarantees that He will care for His own.  All we need to do is remain faithful to Him through the waiting.

What is the age of accountability?

Sincerely,
Old Enough to Know Better

Dear Old Enough to Know Better,

The age of accountability is the age when a child becomes accountable to God for their sins and would be judged for them… exactly at what age that happens is the tricky part of your question.  We can tell you what the Bible says on the subject, but it doesn’t say much.

We know any baby that dies goes to heaven.  David’s son died, and David made it clear that his son was in heaven (2 Sam 12:23).  Also, Paul uses the immaturity of children as an example (1 Cor 13:11).  This tells us God doesn’t have the same expectation of a child’s behavior as He does of an adult’s.  Children are not bound by the same rules as adults.  A child doesn’t have the mental capacity or maturity to be held accountable for their mistakes like adults are.

In order to become a christian, there are several things God expects you to be capable of doing:

1. Take responsibility for your sins (Acts 3:19).
2. Hear and understand the Word of God (Rom 10:17).
3. Be responsible for your own spiritual growth (1 Pet 2:1-2).

If a child is not capable of doing those things, they cannot be held accountable for their eternal future.

This still doesn’t answer the question though because every child matures at a different rate.  Everyone agrees that a five-year-old can’t be held accountable, and that a twenty-year-old can.  It is the age spectrum in between where our judgment gets fuzzy.  Only God, who knows our hearts (Lk 16:15), can accurately judge the hour in which a child makes that transition into accountability.

Hi.  I am twenty-nine years old and interested in a girl.  Problem is, she was once married, and her husband left her for another girl.  She said she doesn’t care if she ever steps into a church again.  To the best of my knowledge (although I read and look for answers for life in the Bible every day), I cannot get involved with her unless her husband dies.  Where do I go with this?  Is it a sure no-go thing?

 

Sincerely,
Love From Afar

Dear Love From Afar,

She had every right to get a divorce because he left her and committed adultery (Matt 5:32)… but her eligibility is only one of the things you should be concerned about.

You mentioned that she isn’t interested in religion.  You do not want to pursue a relationship with someone who is unwilling to serve Christ.  God warns against becoming tied to a mate whose values don’t equal yours (2 Cor 6:14).  When a christian looks for a spouse, they should search for someone they can marry “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  There is nothing wrong with building a friendship with this woman, but before it gets too close, make sure that your values match.  You will spend a lifetime with your spouse, but your relationship with the Lord will affect your eternity (Matt 16:26).