I was saved, baptized, and had accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior when I was about twelve or thirteen.  I have been addicted to porn and all kinds of sexual sins and impure thoughts.  I have been praying a lot and asking God for forgiveness of my sins and to cleanse me of my sins.  I am terrified I have lost my salvation and that I’m going to hell.  I have been reading the Bible a lot.  Please help me.

Sincerely,
Off The Path

Dear Off The Path,

You can be forgiven of all sin, no matter how lurid, if you repent.  David is a great example of this.  David slept with a married woman, killed her husband, and lied to cover it all up (2 Sam 11:2-4).  However, David eventually repented and was forgiven (2 Sam 12:13).  The key is that David changed the direction of his life.  David made a distinct effort to overcome his sin and live faithfully.  You must do the same.

At this point, you are probably thinking, “But I have made a distinct effort!  I have tried to live faithfully…”  We understand that you are trying.  We here at AYP want you to succeed.  The problem with sexual sins, pornography especially, is that they are addictive in nature.  Many sins have addictive qualities, but sexual sins are especially noted for being that way.  Chapter five of Proverbs highlights the enticing and alluring nature of the immoral woman and immoral sex.  Pr 5:3-4 points out that this type of sin is enticing, but it always ends with bitterness.  You are tasting that bitterness now.

Your only solution is to flee sin (1 Cor 6:18).  Take whatever steps are necessary to remove yourself from situations that might lead to fornication.  Get rid of your computer or internet connection (if you really need to use the internet, you can always go to the library – a very public access point).  Install ‘accountability software’ like CovenantEyes – which will send a copy of all your internet activity to a trusted friend or advisor.  Make specific plans to ATTACK this sin.  Get help.  Let other trusted individuals know about your problem (Eccl 4:9-10).  Admitting your faults is painful, but this is absolutely worth the sacrifice if it will save your soul – and it will (Matt 5:29-30).  Do not walk away from this sin.  RUN!

If I don't have my child christened, will he go to hell?

 

Sincerely,
Nervous Mother

Dear Nervous Mother,

All children go to heaven.  David’s son died and went to heaven (2 Sam 12:23).  ‘Christening’, also known as ‘infant baptism’, is nowhere to be found in the Bible.  Children are not baptized; adults are.  Baptism is only for believers (Mk 16:16).  You must be old enough to understand and repent (Acts 2:38).  Infants can neither believe nor repent.  It is adults, men and women, who hear the gospel news and then obey it through baptism (Acts 8:12).  Baptism must be requested by the individual wanting it (Acts 8:36)… babies cannot request baptism.  All babies go to heaven; baptism is for those of us who have grown up, rebelled, sinned, and need our sins removed (Acts 22:16).

I was studying the Bible with my friend (she is a Mormon), and she showed me a verse that talks about baptizing dead people (1 Cor 15:29).  What is that all about?

 

Sincerely,
Coffin Dunker

Dear Coffin Dunker,

God does command baptism for the dead… but not how the Mormons teach it.  Baptism for the dead is a Mormon practice where they baptize a living family member on behalf of a dead relative.  The Mormons then profess that “proxy-baptism” saves the soul of the dead relative, turning them into a Mormon.  There is nothing in the Bible that teaches this doctrine, and they misuse 1 Cor 15:29 when they refer to it.

1 Cor 15:29 is in the middle of a discussion Paul is having with the Corinthian church about life after death.  Paul just got done explaining that Jesus died and lived again (1 Cor 15:15-18).  Paul will then later explain that he is willing to be persecuted even to death in order to preach the gospel (1 Cor 15:30-32).  The statement about baptism for the dead is smack-dab right in the middle of that context.  Therefore, whatever “baptism for the dead” is referring to must have something to do with life after death and the willingness to die for the gospel because you have such a hope.

Baptism removes our sin (Acts 2:38).  Baptism saves us (1 Pet 3:21, Mk 16:16).  When we are baptized, we move from a state of spiritual death to spiritual life (Eph 2:1-5).  That spiritual death (i.e. eternity in hell) is what Paul is referring to in 1 Cor 15:29.  People are baptized for death, to remove spiritual death, and live in the hope of eternal life (Tit 3:7).  Jesus came and preached to those living in the “shadow of death” (Lk 1:79).  When we obey the gospel, we have passed out of death and into life (Jhn 5:24).  Jesus even went so far as to say that we will never see death if we keep His word (Jhn 8:51).  In the context of first Corinthians chapter 15, Paul is talking about this eternal death.  When people are baptized, they are baptized to avoid the eternal death that awaits all who are outside of Christ.

I've had trouble in my past with the law.  I'm sorry for what I did and have changed.  Why do I still have to deal with all this?  Is there something obvious I can do or something to show people that I'm not the same?  I've tried wearing long sleeves to cover up my tattoos and wearing a cross, and all that didn't work.  Is there, like, a saying or something that I can say?  Or something else I can wear?

 

Sincerely,
Reformed Citizen

Dear Reformed Citizen,

There are two areas of our life that our sins effect – the spiritual part of our life and the physical part of our life.  When you are baptized, the spiritual consequences for your sins are removed.  Our sins bring spiritual death (Rom 6:23), and baptism brings a new life in Christ (Rom 6:3-4).  The spiritual consequences for our sins are the most important because they are eternal consequences.  Even if all of mankind hates us, if God loves us, we are safe (Matt 10:28).  Forgiveness of your sins does not remove the physical consequences though – just the spiritual ones.

God tells us that we “reap what we sow” (Gal 6:7).  The physical consequences of our sins will be with us our entire life.  If we lose our temper and strike someone, then we must deal with the effects of that choice… even if God forgives us.  If I am an unfaithful steward and spend all the money God gives me on worthless things, God’s forgiveness will not miraculously remove my poverty.  God wants us to learn the lessons from our sins, and He disciplines us when we are disobedient (Heb 12:9-10).  There is no magic pill, incantation, or jewelry that will remove the consequences of your choices in this life.  All you can do is begin to humbly serve God (Mic 6:8).  As you make better choices – over time – you will find that people begin to treat you differently.  Let your humble, repentant, and gentle spirit shine through.  You know that you are a different person; in time everyone else will, too.

I am in a debate with my girlfriend about whether or not it is okay if we live together before we are married.  From a biblical standpoint, what is your take on that situation?  Am I in the wrong for wanting to before we are married?  I am curious for your interpretation and advice on it from a biblical standpoint.

 

Thanks.

Sincerely,
First Or Last Month’s Rent

First Or Last Month’s Rent,

We receive this question almost every day, and it would be very easy for us to refer you to previous posts like "Living Together" and call it good, but we here at AYP believe that this question is posed so often because of a deeper problem than people just not knowing what to do about sex, marriage, and living arrangements.

The reason people don’t get married – but instead (outside of marriage) have sex, live together, have children together, and eventually destroy their lives – is because we spend our lives making up the rules as we go.  We live our lives by the “what-makes-me-feel-good-right-now” philosophy.  We have no real standard to live by other than what we feel at the moment.  Like Pilate, we ask, “What is truth?” (Jhn 18:38) because we don’t know where to find the right answers to life.  How can we know what is the right thing to do?  Only the Creator can give us a rulebook for life that allows us to comfortably say, “I’m making the right choice.”  Jesus is the truth, the way, and the life (Jhn 14:6).  All the answers to life are found in His Scriptures (2 Pet 1:3).  If we want our relationships, our families, our careers, and our lives to work, we have to use the manual.  Ask for the Bible and nothing else.  We here at AYP would be happy to help you begin that journey by showing you what God has to say about getting your life right with Him.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.  And if you didn’t see it coming, getting your life right with Christ will involve not living together before you are married.