My family is having a serious dispute over my parents’ last will and testament.  I suggested taking this dispute to my late parents’ pastor.  My sisters flatly refuse.

Is there a Bible verse that states to the effect that family disputes should be taken to a minister rather than a judge?

Sincerely,
Court Of Appeals

Dear Court Of Appeals,

There isn't any verse that will force your family members to talk to a religious teacher instead of a judge.  There are plenty of verses that teach that christians shouldn't take one another to court (most notably 1 Cor 6:5-8).  However, it should also be noted that those same verses also say that it is better to be defrauded than to fight with your brother over legal matters.

I have a question about going to church.  My family and I want to start having church, however we were thinking of just having it ourselves.  We wanted to watch church on T.V. on Sundays and then talk about stuff in the Bible ourselves.  Is this okay to do?  Do you have to go to church, or is it okay to have it at home?  Thanks for your time!  God bless!

Sincerely,
Homeward Bound

Dear Homeward Bound,

If you are starting a congregation out of your home, there are Biblical examples of that, but if you are just staying home instead of assembling with other christians… that would be wrong.  Philemon had a congregation that met in his house (Philemon 1:2).  The church in Troas met in a large home (Acts 20:7-8).  The location of a church doesn’t matter because ‘church’ refers to people, not a building, so if you were starting a church in your home, that would be fine.  However, that would come with the responsibilities that belong to the church.  You would need to be willing to have others assemble with you in your home.  The Lord’s church should seek to increase numerically and spiritually (Eph 4:16) whenever possible, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to start a church in your home and restrict its membership to your family.  That would be akin to Diotrephes who kicked people out of the church (3 Jn 1:10).

If you aren’t talking about starting a full-fledged congregation, then you need to be a part of one.  It isn’t enough to watch sermons on television and talk about the Bible.  The Lord commanded us to assemble with one another (Heb 10:25).  We are supposed to get together each Sunday and partake of the Lord’s Supper together (Acts 20:7, 1 Cor 11:20).  God intended for christians to be a part of a local congregation with elders and deacons to help shepherd them (1 Pet 5:2).  God knows what is best for us, and it is in our best interest to assemble with other christians in a local church.  We are all different, and our differences help to strengthen us, protect us, and better serve Christ (Eph 4:14-16).

I am having a baby, but I am not married to her father.  My father said that this will be his child, not ours, if we don't get married.  He's a christian.  But is this in the Bible somewhere?!  If not, what can I say to him?

Sincerely,
Mad Mama

Dear Mad Mama,

There is a great deal involved in your situation, but you have only asked us to handle one piece of your difficult puzzle.  For the sake of clarity, we will only deal with the specific question of whether or not the baby belongs to you or your parent.

The baby does belong to both you and its father.  If for no other reason then the laws of the land stipulate that the biological parents, unless deemed legally unfit, have rightful guardianship over the child.  The Bible says to obey the laws of the land (1 Pet 2:13).  There is no Scripture that would provide a grandparent with the authority to take a child from the parent.  Having said that, there are quite likely some extraneous details that are involved in your situation that you are not making us aware of.  Anytime children are born outside of marriage there are thousands of issues involved because of the traumatic circumstances surrounding that child’s birth.  The Bible issue is clear; it is your baby… and your responsibility to do whatever is necessary to give that child a godly rearing (Pr 22:6).

{To our AYP Readers – the following is a follow-up to the post “A “Pastor” Problem”.  In order to fully appreciate this post, you should go back and read the previous question.}

Thanks for writing me back.  I hear what you are saying; I think that my father-in-law should be pushing me to the next level.  My wife still does not want to leave her dad’s church, but I have to do what GOD is calling me to do.  I want to please GOD and not man, so I am getting myself together, so I can do the will of GOD for my life.  And you are right if we start doing things GOD’s way and not our way (sic-AYP).  What do I do now that I realize this?  I could lose my wife to her dad.  I am praying for things to change, but until then, I will stay on bended knees.  Please give more insight, please.

 

Sincerely,
Pastored Pastor

Dear Pastored Pastor,

I’m not sure that you do understand what we are saying.  We are saying that the church you are a part of is not God’s church.  You are not a pastor in the Lord’s church, nor have you ever been.  You were ordained to fulfill a position that isn’t found in the Bible and serve in an apostate congregation.  You shouldn’t be “pushed to the next level”; you should start over again.  You are not abiding within the doctrine of Christ and His Word is not in you (2 Jn 1:9).

If you really do want to serve God, and we pray you do, you will have to leave this church.  Christ said that He would set families against themselves (Matt 10:34-36).  If you choose to find a faithful church (please read “Finding A Church” and “Preacher Interrogation”), it will set you against your wife and father-in-law.  You will need to start over and look at the Bible as your standard for all your behavior.  Nicodemus, a Pharisee, feared what Jesus’ preaching meant for His position, but ultimately – the truth is the truth (Jhn 3:1-2).  We must be prepared to do whatever it takes to put the Lord first.  You need to leave man’s religion and start a new life, never again adding or taking away from God’s standards (Rev 22:18-19).

My brother-in-law spends much of his free time playing video games in which he controls a character that commits violent, hateful, and deplorable acts.  How do I communicate to him (with patience and grace) that what he's doing in this 'fantasy' world is still wrong?

Sincerely,
Digital Age

Dear Digital Age,

Video games are not necessarily sinful, but anything – including some video games – that causes us to dwell and meditate on sin should be avoided.  We here at AYP agree that video games focusing on murder, theft, fornication, etc. are a very, VERY bad idea… especially considering the potentially addictive nature of many of these games.  God wants us to dwell upon positive things (Php 4:8), not immorality.  As a man thinks in his heart, so he is (Pr 23:7).  If our worldview is guided by our visions of being a drug-dealing pimp (a vision which some video games portray), then that view will effect our lifestyle and attitude.

As for how to address your brother-in-law… that is a trickier issue.  The first thing to do is pray.  Pray for him (1 Jn 5:16).  Pray for wisdom (Jas 1:5).  Only by the grace of God and His Word can we affect the lives of others.  Feel free to show your disdain for these types of games, but make sure to point out why.  Make it clear that you don’t disdain him – but the content of the games.  Otherwise, let the purity of your own example pave the way to making a difference (Matt 5:16).  There is no easy one-size-fits-all answer for how to approach others.  All we can do is make sure to remove sin from our own lives first (Matt 7:3-4), and be prepared to give a defense for the hope that is in us (1 Pet 3:15).