I currently work outside of the home, but many of my friends tell me that a christian woman cannot have a job.  Does God say that I have to be a stay-at-home mom?

Sincerely,
Overworked

Dear Overworked,

Being a stay-at-home mom is a job – a very important one – that shouldn’t be neglected.  The Bible never says that a woman can’t work outside the home; in fact, it gives many examples of faithful women working secular jobs.  Lydia was a seller of beautiful fabric (Acts 16:14).  The worthy woman of Proverbs 31 is depicted as buying and selling land (Pr 31:16).  The problem isn’t with women working outside of the home; it is when women neglect their homes and families.

God tells us that older women are to train younger women to be “workers at home”, “love their children”, and “love their husbands” (Tit 2:3-5).  Paul told Timothy that women are to “rule the household” (1 Tim 5:14).  Both of these verses indicate that women play a pivotal and central role in running the home.  As much as men are admonished to provide and lead their families, women are taught to not neglect the sphere of the home and family.  Pr 14:1 says that women should build their homes and invest effort and time into establishing those homes.

If a woman works outside of the home (which is perfectly scriptural), she must make sure that she does not neglect the home.  Proverbs 31 shows us what an important and wonderful job being a wife and a mother can be.  A woman who dedicates herself to her family will be pleasing to God, and her family will rise up and call her “blessed” (Pr 31:28-31).

I have gay parents.  NO, I don't agree with it, but that’s not the point.

Both of them have recently gotten physically abusive.

I want to talk to someone about it, but I feel God is telling me to stay at my mom’s and not move to my dads.  The reason is that I have a better chance in college if I were to stay at my mom’s.

And even if I were to move to my dad’s, I would have to say goodbye to everything I know and love.

What should I do; how should I handle this situation?

Sincerely,
No Easy Choice

Dear No Easy Choice,

Choose what’s right, and the future will care for itself.  If we understand you correctly, the physically abusive parents are at your mother’s home.  Your father’s home does not have abuse and does not have the immorality issues.  So you have two choices:

1. Stay in an immoral home where you have to worry about your mental, emotionally, spiritual, AND physical safety because you believe that you might be able to go to college if you stay.
2. Move to an overall safer and more moral environment that would force you to leave your friends, neighborhood, comfort zone, etc.

The key is to never make decisions based off of the consequences.  Make decisions based off of what is right.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  You current situation is bad company.  If you stay, it will destroy you.  You do not know what moving will bring, but you know that staying will bring only corruption.  Trust the Lord and His Word to guide your life.  You can never know what is the best choice.  He does.  Have faith, and He will bless you in your new life.  Let the Lord be your hope and shield (Ps 119:114-116).

I am in my fifties, and my parents both have failing health.  They do not appreciate that my husband and I are religious and have made family gatherings miserable over the years because of it.  My siblings say that since we are the "good ones" (financially stable, our children turned out well, we are healthy), we should take over Mom and Dad's care.  I've mentioned to my siblings that our parents probably wouldn't want to live with us.  My brother said that we HAD to take them in because the Bible says to "honor your parents".  Does this burden really fall to my husband and me just because we're the only christians?

 

Sincerely,
Overburdened

Dear Overburdened,

It is an unfortunate reality that many christians are left with responsibilities that others are unwilling to shoulder.  Children have the responsibility of caring for their parents in their old age (1 Tim 5:4).  Certainly that responsibility falls to all of the siblings, but if none of the others will shoulder the burden, you would still be bound to.  There are many trials that christians must endure as they seek to live godly lives, and it sounds like this will be one for you.

Some parents make it a joy to honor them; others weigh down their children with the duty.  Your parents don’t necessarily need to live with you, but you do need to honor them (Eph 6:2).  You will have to decide what is the best way to care for your parents without destroying the stability of your own immediate family.

What are God's thoughts on cremation?  Not your thoughts, but God's.

 

Sincerely,
Ashes To Ashes

Dear Ashes To Ashes,

This is a question that we are often asked at AYP because it is so important to people that they properly handle their own (and their family’s) final wishes in a godly fashion.  Cremation is perfectly Biblical. Your body is a tent that is discarded at death (2 Cor 5:1-4).  At death, we leave this ‘tent’ of a body behind (2 Pet 1:14,) and your body will decay and return to dust (Gen 3:19).

We have at least one account of cremation occurring in the Old Testament.  Saul and his sons were cremated after they died in battle (1 Sam 31:12). The men that cremated Saul and his sons were later commended by David for their behavior (2 Sam 2:5). That same verse in 2 Samuel shows that David considered cremation a form of burial.

The Bible does not seem to place much focus on how someone is buried. God’s emphasis is upon how we live (Gal 2:20), not what is done with our body after we die.

I recently did a very strange thing; I lied to my family in order to go to a preacher's house with the rest of the congregation for an evening of fellowship and Bible study.  I felt that lying to my family (in this particular instance) was reasonable and acceptable because I was doing it to keep from hurting their feelings.  The situation, as I'm sure you can imagine, is much more complicated than I'm admitting now, but although my family is supportive of me learning about the Bible, they would (strongly) prefer I do so in my own denomination.  Was it a sin to lie to my parents in this capacity?

 

Sincerely,
Parental Pressure

Dear Parental Pressure,

The short answer is: yes.  It is a sin to lie to your parents.  Lying is always wrong (Col 3:9), and the heart of living by the Bible functions around the idea that our ethics are not dictated by the situation but by God’s unchanging word.  Lying is a creation of the devil (Jhn 8:44), and if we seek to worship God, we must do so in spirit and in truth (Jhn 4:24).

Having said that, we certainly can commiserate with you in the pressure that you have on you from outside sources.  Familial pressure is something that everyone faces from time to time.  Jesus made it clear that He would set families against each other (Lk 12:51-53).  If you follow the Bible, it will always set you at odds with certain people, even your own family.

God hates lying (Pr 6:16-17), but you don’t have to tell everyone everything about your life.  Even Jesus ignored his brothers’ request to know His comings and goings on occasion (Jhn 7:8-10).  Jesus never lied (Tit 1:2, Heb 4:15), but He did make it clear to His brothers that what He did or didn’t do was none of their business.

If you are lying to your parents to avoid telling them the truth about your devotion to Christ, then you need to make your stance clear (Matt 10:32), but if you are simply trying to study God’s Word to find the truth for yourself (and you believe the truth may very well exist outside of your family’s current religion) but simply don’t want artificial pressure on you while you do so… don’t feel obligated to tell your every move to others as you study to find the truth.