I got baptized nine years ago at some church where my boyfriend was going.  A couple days ago, someone pointed out to me that I wasn't baptized for the forgiveness of my sins.  I just got baptized again.  I haven't really told anyone yet.  I feel kinda dumb for not knowing all those years and thinking that I was going to heaven.  Am I lying by not saying something?

 

Sincerely,
Back To The Beginning

Dear Back To The Beginning,

The willingness to change when confronted with the truth is the mark of an intelligent and honest person.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  You aren’t required to tell everyone you meet, but don’t avoid the subject.  The fact that you are concerned that you are lying is a sign that your conscience is bothering you.  If there are people that you specifically avoid the subject with, and it is bothering your conscience, then you may need to go out of your way to tell them.  It is very important that christians always try and keep a clean conscience (Acts 24:16).

On top of that, you have nothing to be ashamed of; being baptized is a joyous event and an opportunity to let your light shine (Matt 5:16).  You are a christian now.  Christians have a responsibility to confess Christ to the rest of mankind (Matt 10:32-33).  Let those around you know how happy you are.

My aunt is on a respirator. She isn't getting enough oxygen into her lungs and cannot breathe on her own. They have put her in a drug-induced coma while they try to figure out what is wrong with her. They are now worried that there was not enough oxygen to the brain, and she could be either brain damaged or brain dead. If they take her off the breathing machine now, she will die. We are all holding on to hope and praying that she will be healed and recover. But the doctors seem to have given up all hope. My question is: is her soul already gone? When does the soul leave the body? He heart is still beating, and all her organs are still working; to us she is still alive. But if the machine is doing the breathing for her, is she already in heaven?

Sincerely, Concerned Niece

Dear Concerned Niece,

Only God knows for sure when the soul leaves the body, but you can be confident that God is in control. We can’t perceive the moment the soul leaves someone’s body (Eccl 3:21). It is a scary thing to watch a loved one’s body deteriorate, but God makes sure that the angels escort the spirit of the faithful into Paradise when they die (Lk 16:22).

And that is the defining term, ‘die’ – when do we die? As technology increases, we are having to constantly redefine when a person is dead. It used to be that when someone stopped breathing, they were considered dead – but now we can resuscitate them. Then it was when the heart stopped; that became the new definition of ‘dead’ until the defibrillator came along. Currently, the most accepted definition of ‘dead’ is when there is no longer any brain or organ function. I say all this just to tell you that doctors themselves struggle with the problem of “when is someone dead?”.

Having said all that, if there is still any doubt in the doctors’ minds, then I would think of your aunt as still alive. She is breathing (with assistance), her organs are functioning, and they are assuming she still has brain activity. Her situation is very perilous, but she is still alive. Since she is alive, her soul is still in her. May God comfort and care for her and your family in this difficult time.

My grandchildren have told me several times that one of their friends uses some by-words that sound pretty bad. They also said that the parents use these words, so the friend thinks the words are okay. The words used also included a racial slur. Since these people are christians, and I am sure this is not appropriate language, what, if anything, can these young people say to their friend about the language without upsetting the parents?

Sincerely, Watch Your Mouth

Dear Watch Your Mouth,

By-words or euphemism are used today as “soft” swearing. Instead of actually using a four-letter word or the Lord’s name in vain, people will alter those words (often by only changing a letter or two) to expressions more socially acceptable. The problem is that the meaning still remains the same. It is very similar to when television stations bleep-out bad language – everyone still knows what was intended.

Christians are supposed to avoid all unwholesome speech and crass language (Eph 4:29). Our language should always edify and build up other people. This is exactly why euphemisms and by-words are bad for christians to use. The euphemisms have the same intent as the ‘swear’ words. We should always talk in such a way that we impart grace and goodness to those who listen (Col 4:6). Secondarily, euphemisms give enemies of the gospel an opportunity to condemn christians. When we use by-words, our enemies can argue that christians are only using a language loop-hole; the intent behind our words is the same. Paul tells us to carefully watch our language, so that we never give enemies of Christ the opportunity to condemn us (Tit 2:8).

As for what your grandchildren can say to their friend… not much can be said. They can always request that their friend not use words like that around them and then explain why. You can remind your grandchildren that a true friend won’t use words to purposefully offend. Even if the friend will stop out of respect for your grandchildren, it is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, euphemisms are so common amongst God’s people that it will take a lot of teaching and time to rid christians of the habit.

I was reading a question to a priest, and I asked him why we call him ‘father’ when it specifically says not to in the Bible (Matt 23:8). His response was that it is for the same reason a child calls their parent ‘father’; they are the natural father and the priest is the spiritual father. While I believe calling a priest ‘father’ is wrong, why is it okay to call our birth parent ‘father’?

Sincerely, Paternal Nomenclature

Dear Paternal Nomenclature,

Calling a priest ‘father’ is wrong because, as the priest said, it is referring to ‘father’ in a spiritual sense. That is what Christ is condemning in Matt 23:8-10. Christ is rebuking people who elevate themselves above others within the church. Catholic priests place themselves in a position of spiritual superiority and authority above others. That is wrong and exactly what Christ told His disciples never to do.

On the other hand, the term ‘father’ is perfectly fine when used to refer to a physical parent. The Bible itself uses the word ‘father’ almost 1,000 times, and the vast majority of those times refer to fleshly parents. Gen 2:24, Gen 9:22, Lev 20:9, Pr 17:25, Mk 10:29, Lk 11:11 are just a few examples. Our fathers are a blessing from God given to us for a time to guide and discipline us (Heb 12:9-10). They are worthy of honor and the title ‘father’ (Eph 6:2).

I am the only Christian in my family and among most of my friends. I feel like I have a responsibility to let the ones I love know about God's Word, but I don't know how to do it without pushing it or feeling like an annoyance. The thought that my friends and family aren't going to heaven because I didn't bring it up breaks my heart. I also don't know how to tell them that Christ's church is different from other churches.

Sincerely, Letting My Light Shine

Dear Letting My Light Shine,

With some relationships, there isn’t much you can say; it is how you live that makes the impact. Even Jesus had struggles converting His family. His brothers initially mocked him for His teachings (Jhn 7:3-5). Jesus didn’t argue with them; He just kept on being Himself, and eventually his brother James, his brother Jude, and his mother are recorded as having been converted.

The problem with family is that they have seen you at your youngest and most immature. Your words don’t have the same impact with a parent that has changed your diapers. No matter how logical and right you might be, all they can think is, “This is my child” or “This is my kid brother/sister”. Jesus said that even a prophet doesn’t have respect in his hometown (Lk 4:24). Those who knew you before you became a christian will be very skeptical of anything you say. They will need to see the change in your life first.

Converting your family is very similar to converting a spouse. God says that if you have an unbelieving husband or wife, you should live with them and let your influence do the talking (1 Cor 7:12-16). Never compromise your morals and always stand up for what you believe in, but don’t force it upon them. Let time and influence do the work.

As for telling them the differences between Christ’s church and other churches? Your life, convictions, and consistency will show the difference. Remember, your loved ones know you better than anyone – they are watching to see if this new person you say you are is the real deal. You know it, and over time they will to.