I was wondering: if I stay with a man, and we sleep in the same bed but do not have sex, is that fornication?

Sincerely,
Super Sleepy

Dear Super Sleepy,

Would you be okay with your daughter doing that?!  Christianity isn’t about how close we can get to sin, it is about living lives that are striving for purity in all areas (Rom 6:1-2, Jas 4:8).  God commands us to “flee fornication” (1 Cor 6:18).  Sleeping in the same bed as a man that you are not married to is not “fleeing” by any stretch of the imagination.

When we play with fire, we tend to get burned.  Sleeping in the same bed is dangerous, bad for your reputation (1 Tim 6:14), not honorable in the sight of man (Rom 12:17), and sets your relationship up for failure because it will be built upon physical intimacy instead of one another’s character (1 Pet 3:4).  If this man truly cares about you – he will happily wait for that level of intimacy until you are married (1 Cor 7:2).

Would it be okay to be in support of equal civil rights for homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Almost An Advocate

Dear Almost An Advocate,

Biblically speaking, a nation that puts God first will be blessed (Ps 33:12).  God makes it clear that active homosexual lives are sinful and should be discouraged (Rom 1:26-27).  When a Christian has a chance to impact the political realm of the society they are in, they should always try and shape that society in a way that discourages homosexuality.  "Civil rights" for homosexuals isn't about treating them equally as humans; it is about making society more amenable to that sort of lifestyle.

Is it okay for a Christian to be in support of gay marriage?  I'm guessing the answer is ‘no’.  What about hanging out and being friends with people that support gay marriage?

Sincerely,
Finding Friends

Dear Finding Friends,

Homosexual marriage, the right to abortion (i.e. the right to kill babies), freedom of worship, etc. are issues that, regardless of other political views, a Christian must stand firm on. A Christian that supports homosexual marriage is supporting and endorsing sin. It is no different than Solomon building idolatrous temples for his wives – he sinned in condoning their sin (1 Kgs 11:4-9).

Now, the second part of your question has to do with keeping company with those who support homosexual “marriage”.  Christians are constantly trying to strike the balance between being lights to the world (Matt 5:14) and keeping themselves pure and undefiled from the world’s influences (Jas 1:27).  As long as we live on this planet, we will have trials (Jhn 16:33).  It is a fine line between being an influence and being corrupted by the world.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  It isn’t wrong to befriend someone who is living a homosexual lifestyle or endorsing such behavior, just like it isn’t wrong to befriend someone who lies or uses bad language… but we must always be guarded in our relationships with those outside of Christ (2 Cor 6:14).  The Lord loves people but hates sin.  You should show love for these people in your life but still abhor their sinful choices (after all, those sins are destroying their souls!).  If you can influence a person for good, then do so.  If they are corrupting you and keeping you from being the best Christian you can be, begin to distance yourself (Gal 5:1).  You may even deem it appropriate to tell the person why you are distancing yourself (1 Pet 3:15).  Maybe, just maybe, they will change if they are made aware of what their choices are costing them.

Sometimes it seems as if the Bible views women as inferior to men.  A woman should serve her husband and should be submissive to him, and she should pretty much keep to herself and her family, much like Islamic women today and women in various other cultures.  The Bible also mentions slaves.  How does this relate to equality that we seem to demand in our culture today?  I've heard a theory that the Bible was written in a specific time period, and in order for people to pretty much take it seriously, it needed to have ideals and beliefs for that time period.  What are your thoughts on that, and if you think that might be correct, how do we fit everything in the Bible into our lives today?

Sincerely,
Cultural Relevance

Dear Cultural Relevance,

The Bible does seem to treat women as inferior when it is viewed through the lens of today’s American culture – because our culture is thoroughly dysfunctional when it comes to men and women.  Just one look at the modern divorce rate shows our dysfunction.

The Bible emphasizes gender differences, but that is not the same as saying men and women aren’t equal.  In fact, the Bible is very specific in stating that women are equal with men (1 Pet 3:7).  Women are different than men – big shock.  Unlike modern American culture, which tries to pretend that there are no real differences between men and women, the Bible comes right out and says that they are unique.  This blatant honesty is jarring to today’s culture.  But we must remember that being different is not the same as being inferior.  Men can’t exist without women, and women can’t exist without men (1 Cor 11:11-12).  Both men and women have souls (Gen 1:27), and God created them both.  The way the Bible deals with male and female roles is timeless, and therefore, It doesn’t cater to the specific dysfunctional whims of modern America.

The timeless nature of the Bible is also the reason for the Bible addressing slavery.  God makes it clear that it is better to be free than a slave (1 Cor 7:21).  However, slavery does exist in many cultures and always has.  The Bible tells slaves and slave-owners how to act because the Bible is God’s Word to all mankind.  In a free society, such commands seem archaic, but for the many slaves throughout time, such commands are vital and exceptionally pertinent.

Is it wrong for a woman to lead a prayer when men are present?  Specifically at a large family gathering before a meal?

Sincerely,
Giving Thanks

Dear Giving Thanks,

God makes it clear that a woman is not supposed to have authority over a man (1 Tim 2:12).  This command does not apply to every area of life, but it does specifically apply to the spiritual realm.  In the worship service, women are forbidden from any leadership position (1 Cor 14:34-35).  Leading a prayer is most definitely a spiritual leadership position.  Yes, it would be wrong for a woman to lead a prayer when christian men are present.