When Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, Adam was cursed with thorns and thistles in the ground while Eve was cursed with pain in childbirth.  Does that mean that my husband has to do all the yard work?

Sincerely,
Wishing I Wasn’t Weeding

Dear Wishing I Wasn’t Weeding,

Thankfully for us guys, that isn’t what that verse is talking about.  Adam was cursed with thorns and thistles as he grew and harvested food from the earth (Gen 3:17-18).  Adam was cursed with having to work hard and sweat to provide for his family (Gen 3:19).  It wasn’t about yard work, but about hard work.  Adam was cursed with having his work be difficult.  It had nothing to do with mowing the lawn and pruning the roses… you’ll have to find some other reason to get your hubby to do that!

Recently the pastor’s wife asked me to call her ‘pastor’, too.  She said it shows respect to her because she was also called.  Should you call the pastor's wife ‘pastor’ because she told you, or should it be because GOD puts it in your heart?

Sincerely,
Name Tag

Dear Name Tag,

Regardless of how anyone (including the pastor’s wife) feels, she should never be called ‘pastor’.  Pastors, also known as ‘elders’ and ‘overseers’, are always men.  1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 outline the requirements for becoming a pastor.  One of those requirements is that he be a husband of one wife (Tit 1:6, 1 Tim 3:2).  That would naturally exclude all women from ever being pastors.

Considering that the verses we’ve just highlighted are exceptionally easy to find and very clearly outline the rules for leadership, we here at AYP would like you to consider the real possibility that your current congregation doesn’t pay attention to the Scriptures.  God clearly condemns those who replace the Bible with the traditions of men (Col 2:8).  We recommend that you read “Finding The Church” and “Preacher Interrogation” to help you as you take a serious look at the faithfulness of your current church.  After talking to the pastor’s wife and asking her about those verses, we would love to hear back from you to know what she said.

Is it okay for a woman to baptize someone that she has been studying with even if there are several men in her congregation?

Sincerely,
About To Go Under

Dear About To Go Under,

Everything we are taught about baptism emphasizes the person being immersed and not the one doing it.  Baptism saves you from your sin (1 Pet 3:21).  Baptism is a burial with Christ (Rom 6:4).  In order to be baptized, you must believe and repent (Mk 16:16, Acts 2:38).  All of these requirements address what is expected of and what happens to the person being baptized.  As far as we can tell, there are no qualifications given for who must do the baptizing.

Having said that, it is only fair to point out that the only examples we have in the Scriptures are of Christian men baptizing people.  It seems that this is an incidental point though, not a point of doctrine.  For many people, this is an issue of conscience, and if there is any doubt in your mind over this issue (whatever is not of faith is sin – Rom 14:23), the safest way to handle it is to have a Christian man do the baptizing.

What does the Bible say about men wearing their hair long?

Sincerely,
Hand Me The Scissors

Dear Hand Me The Scissors,

It is a sin for men to have long or feminine hair.  The apostle Paul states that men are supposed to have short hair (1 Cor 11:14).  Likewise, women are supposed to have long hair (1 Cor 11:15).  It is important to note that the word ‘long’ and the word ‘short’ are relative terms.  Something can only be long (or short) in relation to something else; depending upon the culture and fashion of the day, a man’s hair can be varying lengths and still be considered short.  If a man is bald, he has short hair; if his hair grows out an inch, it would still be considered short.

Men must have short hair and women must have long hair.  Another way to say this is that men must not have women’s hair, and women must not have men’s hair.  God designed men to look different from women, and it is a dishonor for a man to have long hair like a woman’s (1 Cor 11:14).  God designed women to look different from men, and it is a dishonor for a woman to have short hair like a man’s.  It is a sin for a man to dress or act effeminately (1 Cor 6:9) – just as it would be a sin for a woman to dress or act like a man (even in the Old Testament this was a rule – Deu 22:5).  Men should dress, act, and cut their hair in a masculine way.  Women should dress, act, and cut their hair in a feminine way.  Otherwise, they are rejecting the image and design God has honored them with.

As a Christian, I refrain from using sinful language.  I ask you, what should I do when the person I love does this?  I do not want to be a “Bible Thumper”, but I do find it very disrespectful not only to me, but to my Savior.  I try to set a Christian example before him, but at times, I feel as though it doesn't help.  Any advice would be very helpful.

Sincerely,
Biting My Tongue

Dear Biting My Tongue,

Wives have a unique ability to win their husbands without a word.  1 Pet 3:1-2 says that a wife can often gain her husband and turn him to righteousness as he sees her chaste behavior.  Men are often convinced and converted by the kindness and patience of women.  When a man’s wife/girlfriend/mother behaves morally, even when he isn’t behaving morally, it is as painful as pouring coals of fire upon his head (Rom 12:20-21).  A man’s conscience is burned by a woman’s faithful example.  Feel free to tell him when you are offended by his language, but do it with meekness instead of anger (1 Pet 3:3-4).  Don’t force him to behave as you do… force begets more force, and the average man will fight fire with fire.  Instead, respectfully continue to do the right thing yourself, and you may just find that you will win him over (1 Cor 7:13-16).