I am engaged to be married, but I have a lot of friends of the opposite sex.  Should I stop my relationships with men I have known half my life, so he does not question my faithfulness to him?  What does the Bible say about opposite sex friendships… friendships that are purely platonic?

Sincerely,
Friendly

Dear Friendly,

The Bible never says that men and women can’t be friends, but it does give some warnings to remain above reproach.  Being above reproach is a qualification for an elder (Tit 1:6) and something we should all strive for.  To be ‘above reproach’ means to make sure that your behavior is clearly appropriate and honorable in the sight of all (2 Cor 8:21).

When Christians interact with others of the opposite gender, we are to behave in a way that shows all purity (1 Tim 5:1-2).  When you are engaged, your relationships with others of the opposite gender change because your stage of life has changed.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t still do things with men… but you need to be looking at how to have those relationships in a healthy way that incorporates your soon-to-be husband – that may or may not be possible.  If it does come down to choosing between your marriage and others… your marriage will always come first (Eph 5:31).

Was there a woman in the Bible that taught men the Word?

Sincerely,
Teacher At Heart

Dear Teacher At Heart,

We have the example of Priscilla teaching and converting (Acts 18:24-26).  There is nothing wrong with a woman trying to teach and convert a man to Christ… but we must also remember that she does not have the authority to teach or have authority over men in the public church setting (1 Cor 14:34-35).  1 Tim 2:12 specifically prohibits Christian women from teaching Christian men in a congregational forum.  Women are not supposed to serve as public teachers in the worship service because men have the responsibility to lead the church in public teaching.  Elders (Tit 1:5-6), deacons (1 Tim 3:12), and preachers (2 Tim 2:2) are all required to be men.
The world has been changed by godly women standing up for the truth and living godly lives.  Paul mentions women ministering to others’ needs in Php 4:3, Rom 16:1, and Rom 16:3 – just to name a few.  We have the example of Lydia being a servant to the church (Acts 16:14).  We don’t know exactly what the women of Php. 4:2-3 were doing to help Paul, but we know they were working hard.  The church is full of women that are faithful, zealous, and valued servants.

     What should I do to get over lost love?

Sincerely,
Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

It is always difficult when a romantic relationship ends, but God promises that if you serve Him, all things will work together for good in your life (Rom 8:28).  God tells us to not rush love and romantic relationships (Songs 8:4).  If you work on becoming the kind of person you ought to be, the Lord will bless you.  Make a decision to become a person prepared to serve God in whatever capacity He sees fit (2 Tim 2:21).  When you allow Christ to live in you, life turns out right (Gal 2:20).

I wanted to know if when you read I Timothy on the qualifications for a bishop, you read "...must be the husband of one wife" as excluding women from the office of a bishop.  I always understood that particular verse to address having more than one wife since Israel had practiced that in their history.  Also, the Scripture in I Corinthians as pertaining to women teaching was based on the Corinthian church at that time, etc.  I would love to hear your expanded thoughts on this.

Sincerely,
Ladies’ Lib

Dear Ladies’ Lib,

Pastors (Eph 4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  As you said, one of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming bishops.  People have tried to say that these verses are just cultural or that they only pertained to those particular churches, but there is nothing in the Bible that says that.  If we just take the Bible for what it says – elders must be men.

Everyone agrees that women can be servants in the church – the question isn’t whether women can serve; it is how they can serve.  Phoebe was a servant of the church (Rom 16:1) and was praised for her service.  Priscilla was also commended for her labor on behalf of the church (Rom 16:3).  The Bible clearly shows women working in the church and in a very positive way.  Women are seen serving in many capacities in the church, but they are never seen in positions of authority.  Women are forbidden from having authority over men in the church… they are also forbidden from publicly teaching men (1 Tim 2:12).  Women cannot be preachers or have positions within the church that allow them to have dominion (the word ‘dominion’ means ‘to have authority over’).  Women are encouraged to teach other women (Tit 2:3-5) but to take a less authoritative role than men within the church and family.  Paul explains the reason for this structure in 1 Tim 2:13.  Adam was created first, and Eve was created as his helper.   In both the family (Col 3:18-19) and the church (1 Cor 14:34), this principle is carried out.  Eve was no less valuable than Adam, but she was designed for a different role.

     My daughter thinks it's okay for women to love women in a way that men and women are supposed to be in a relationship.  She tells me, “God is love,” and that's what her relationship is, and she also believes that I am judging her.  I know that the devil has blinded her, and my heart aches because I raised my children in church, and I pray for her deliverance.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
Sick Over This

Dear Sick Over This,

If you are looking for verses to show your daughter on the subject of homosexuality, the clearest two in the New Testament are Rom 1:26-27 and Jude 1:7.  However, as you implied, the problem is more than just finding the verses; it is how to act toward a child that has chosen a sinful lifestyle.

There may not be any greater pain on this planet than the pain a parent feels on behalf of their children.  Whether your children have hurt you or you are watching your children hurt, it is a devastating heaviness upon your soul (Pr 10:1).

All you can ever do for your grown children is be a good example, pray for their souls, and stand firm in the truth.  Be that light of Christ that they need to see (Matt 5:14).  Hate the sin, but love them.  Sin causes pain in people’s lives, and hopefully, when that pain gets deep enough – they will choose to look to your example and the Lord’s Will for answers.