My wife says she won't be submissive; she says she never has and never will, and if that’s the way I think, maybe we should end our marriage.  She also says that submission was only a thing of that time period.  I want to live the best christian life that I can; what should I say or do?

Sincerely,
Too Aggressive?

Dear Too Aggressive,

The Bible never commands a husband to make his wife submit.  God commands husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands (Eph 5:24-25).  You cannot force your wife to submit to you, nor is it your job to do that.  She will answer to God for the choices she makes in your marriage, and you will answer to God for the choices you make.

Love your wife and care for her as you do your own body (Eph 5:28).  Don't be embittered against her (Col 3:19).  These are the commands to a husband.  When you live a godly life and follow your responsibilities, you show her that there is another way to live.  When a husband lives up to his biblical responsibilities, he becomes a leader in his home.  When he does that, his wife has a leader worth following.

I’ve been just wondering about Deut 22:5; would you explain, please?  Is it okay to wear trousers because I’m just afraid; I don’t want to live a God-fearing life while wearing trousers only to be shunned out of heaven when time comes because I did not heed His warning on it, or does Deut 22:5 have a different meaning?  Thank you and God bless.

Sincerely,
Suited Up

Dear Suited Up,

Deut 22:5 teaches that a woman is not supposed to dress like a man, and a man is not supposed to dress like a woman.  Cross-dressing is a sin because men are not to behave effeminately (1 Cor 6:9), and similarly, women are not to behave in a masculine way.  Deut 22:5 is a generic teaching on the subject of men and women’s clothing that teaches a principle.

In today’s society, women wear pants all the time that are women’s pants.  They are designed for women, look like a woman should wear them, and would look decidedly inappropriate for a man to wear!  If a woman is wearing trousers that are feminine, she is fine.  However, if a man or a woman begins to dress in a way that clearly is against the natural design the Lord intended, that is a sin.

Did God make mistakes when he made homosexuals?  Why did Jesus not rebuke homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Looking For Answers

Dear Looking For Answers,

We’ll answer your second question first.  Jesus did rebuke homosexuality, but He didn’t do it specifically.  Jesus answered the question of homosexuality when He taught on marriage.  Jesus said that marriage was intended between a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-5).  Any sexual activity outside of God’s plan for marriage is fornication.  Homosexual behavior, pre-marital sex, adultery, etc. are all sinful and Jesus condemned them all when He taught the right way for men and women to behave.

Now let’s address the issue of people being made homosexual.  God doesn’t force anyone to act upon same-sex attractions, just like God doesn’t force an alcoholic to the bottle or a wrathful husband to strike his wife.  How we act is a choice, not a genetic equation.  There is a lot of debate over why some people have same-sex attractions, but at the end of the day, those temptations need to be mastered.  When Cain was angry, God told Cain to rule over sin or it would devour him (Gen 4:7).  Same-sex attractions are a temptation that stems from within a person, just like anger, unhealthy opposite-sex attractions, and a thousand other temptations (Jas 1:13-14).  The key is that there is always a way of escape from those unhealthy desires (1 Cor 10:13).  God didn’t make a mistake when creating us; it is when we turn from the path He has designed for us and follow our own desires (which are often unhealthy) that we sin (Jer 10:23).

    In the news, a boy brought a gun to school and shot his classmate.  The teacher asked him why he did it, and he said his classmate acted “too girly”.  Do you think that the christian church is perplexing young minds and making them do silly things like this?  Also, how should we teach a child about diversity and homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Coexist

Dear Coexist,

The church needs to teach what the Bible says, and the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong (Rom 1:26-27).  Is it right to shoot people because you disagree with them? Absolutely not.  Vengeance, judgment, life, and death belong to God – not us (Rom 12:19, 1 Pet 4:4-5).  The Bible doesn't teach people to hate.  There are people who try and wield the Bible as a book of hatred, but when you read the Book yourself, it teaches forgiveness for sins, the love of God, and hope for the repentant sinner – this includes repentant homosexuals.

We should teach our children what the Bible says about men and women.  God designed marriage and sexual relations to be between one man and one woman (Gen 2:24, 1 Cor 7:1-2).  Homosexuality is a sin, but it is a sin that can be forgiven like any other.

     Why are women no longer required to cover their hair when they come into a church?  Are we being disrespectful to God and our husbands by not covering our hair?

Sincerely,
Lady In Wonder

Dear Lady In Wonder,

Women must always have their heads covered while praying (1 Cor 11:5), but God has built into every woman a permanent head-covering – her hair (1 Cor 11:15).  God designed men and women differently… this should be no surprise to anyone that has ever dealt with the opposite gender!  Men are to be the leaders in the home (Eph 5:23) and the church (Tit 1:5-6).  Women are the heart of the family (Tit 2:4-5), and men are not complete without them (1 Cor 11:12).  Both genders are equal heirs of salvation, but they are designed with different strengths and roles (1 Pet 3:7).  One way that God signifies this is by having men look different from women.  When women have long hair and men have short hair – it pleases God (1 Cor 11:14-15).  There are varying degrees of long and short hair, but ultimately – men are to look like men, and women are to look like women.  This principle is even borne out in the Old Testament (Deut 22:5).  The teachings of 1 Cor 11:1-16 are simply teaching that a woman’s long hair is a God-given covering for her head, and men are not to have that same covering due to their varying roles in leadership.