Is it sinful to become aroused? Or have sexual desires?

Sincerely,
Confused

Dear Confused,

Sexual desires are not wrong, but like all desires, they must be fulfilled in only righteous ways.  God designed men and women to be attracted to one another.  God even said, "It is not good for man to be alone." (Gen 2:18)  God's solution to Adam's loneliness was marriage to Eve (Gen 2:24).  Sexual desires are normal, but we must guard against sinful temptations that are often associated with those desires – temptations like adultery, pornography, and other types of fornication.  We should flee from all those things (1 Cor 6:18).  However, the desires aren't in and of themselves wrong; they are just designed to be fulfilled in marriage (1 Cor 7:1-2).

I am a woman, and an opening has come up to teach the teenage class in my congregation.  Upon mentioning my interest, one of the women said it probably wouldn't be a good idea since there are boys in the class, and some members might have a problem with that.  When is a boy considered too old to be taught by a female in a church Bible class?

Sincerely,
Ready To Educate

Dear Ready To Educate,

The Scriptures are clear about a woman teaching a man – she can’t do it (1 Tim. 2:12). Your question doesn’t deal with a woman teaching a man. Instead, it is addressing when a male becomes a man. That issue is a much more difficult one because there is no exact answer. There are two parts to your question:

1. When do we recognize a boy as a man?
2. What should a congregation do in order to have harmony when a boy is baptized or is nearing adulthood?

The first question is easily answered – we don’t know. The Scriptures never say. Society recognizes eighteen as adult enough to be considered completely responsible for oneself. Even that is just an arbitrary number. In reality, every child matures at a different rate, and there is no magic moment of transition from childhood to adulthood. Everyone agrees a ten-year-old is a child and a twenty-year-old is an adult, but it is the ages in between that leave us scratching our heads.

The second question is an issue of dealing with opinions. Realistically, when a young person is baptized, some will consider him or her an instant adult; others will recognize it as a decision that shows maturity but not adulthood. Consequently, in the case of a boy, a congregation will have some that feel he can no longer have a woman Bible class teacher, and others will think it is still appropriate. Both views are an opinion, and we can’t stand hard and fast on either view. Rom 14:13 says that in such cases, we should do whatever will not cause division or hurt anyone’s conscience. If the congregation is being torn apart by a woman teaching a newly baptized boy, put him in a different class with a male teacher. If a woman has been teaching him and no longer feels she can do it in clear conscience, she should be allowed to recuse herself as his teacher. No matter what, in issues of opinion, peace and edification should be sought above all else (Rom 14:19). Wisdom will have to be used to decide what is the best course in each circumstance.

If being gay is a sin, why did God make gay people?

Sincerely,
Not Happy About It

Dear Not Happy About It,

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  You are not forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if you are born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – you aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice. There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.  
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may, in fact, have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

Is it a sin to wear pants?

Sincerely,
One Leg At A Time

Dear One Leg At A Time,

We are guessing that your question has to do with women wearing pants.  The Old Testament gives us the principle that women are to dress like women, and men are to dress like men (Deu 22:5).  This concept of men avoiding looking effeminate and women looking feminine is reiterated in the New Testament (1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 2:9).  In some cultures and time periods, only men wore/wear pants… other cultures have pants that are specifically tailored for women, and it would be quite noticeable and disturbing if men wore them!  The key is that men are to dress like men, and women are to dress like women.  Men should never look effeminate, and women aren’t to look masculine.  Culture and current fashion will dictate the specifics of what we wear, but the principle remains the same throughout all ages.

Will God still love me even if I turn out to be bisexual?

Sincerely,
Of Two Minds

Dear Of Two Minds,

God loves everyone, and He doesn’t desire any soul to perish (Ezek 18:23), but that doesn’t mean that you will go to heaven if you live a homosexual lifestyle.  The Bible clearly says that homosexual behavior is sinful (Jude 1:7).

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  You are not forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if you are born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – you aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice. There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.  
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may, in fact, have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).  The bottom line ­– you don’t have to be bisexual!  You can lead a life of fulfillment and holiness as God intended.