Is it wrong for christian teens to participate in school dances like prom and homecoming?

Sincerely,
Sock Hop

Dear Sock Hop,

The reason that many christian parents hesitate to encourage their kids go to prom, homecoming, and other school dances is that they often include activities that are sinful.  Modern dancing is designed to be sexually provocative, and it puts young men and women in compromising positions that nurture the sort of behavior and attitudes that lead to sexual immorality and unhealthy relationships.  Not all dancing is sinful (Eccl 3:4), but the kind of dancing encouraged at most school dances is not wholesome.  We are told to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18), to do things that are honorable (Rom 12:17), and to avoid even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:21-22).  School dances, at best, put teens in situations that don’t appear godly, and at worst, can lead to things like pre-marital sex.  When people engage in the type of dancing so often seen in today’s culture, they act in a way that appears indecent and gives room for the lust of the flesh to overpower them (Rom 6:12, 1 Jn 2:16).

Is being gay wrong?

Sincerely,
Want To Know

Dear Want To Know,

Yes, homosexuality is a sin… no matter what society teaches.  The Bible is very clear on the subject of homosexuality.  Homosexuality is a perversion of the relationship God intended between a man and a woman (Rom 1:26-27).  Openly accepted homosexual lifestyles are a sign that a society has deeply diverged from Bible principles (Jude 1:7).  Homosexual urges should be fought and controlled just like we should repress the desire to be violent and show the self-control to watch how we speak.  An actively homosexual lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle.

Why should I wait for sex?

Sincerely,
Just Askin’

Dear Just Askin’,

There are two ways to answer your question.  One way to answer your question would be to list the thousands of statistics that describe how much healthier of a lifestyle monogamy is.  We could explain the risks of promiscuity and the increased failure rate of relationships that pursue intimacy before marriage.  There are studies far and wide that prove the healthiest, happiest, and most well-adjusted relationships are monogamous relationships that wait until marriage… but that isn’t the way we are going to answer your question because as compelling as secular studies are, they aren’t nearly as compelling as the Bible.

The other way to answer your question is to tell you that God says sex outside of marriage is a sin and that we should flee all fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  God designed that level of intimacy for marriage only (Eph 5:31).  Our Creator knows what is best for us, and His Bible says sex outside of marriage is a sin.  That is why you should wait.

I am the friend in the post "A Chosen Lifestyle".  Will you give me some Bible verses to help beat homosexuality; please, I haven't done anything else, but for some reason, this is hard.

Sincerely,
Befriended

Dear Befriended,

There is only one Bible answer for your struggle with homosexual pornography.  God tells us to flee from fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  A good example of fleeing fornication is Joseph when he was seduced by Potiphar’s wife.  Joseph knew that it was wrong for him to lay with another man’s wife (Gen 39:7-9), and so when she caught him alone in the house – Joseph fled so fast that he left his garment behind (Gen 39:11-12).  Don’t put yourself in situations that make it easy to look at pornography.  Move your computer to a public room; install accountability software like Covenant Eyes that discloses your browsing history to a trusted friend.  Make a plan to beat this sin... which brings us to another great verse.  When Daniel was tempted to eat the unclean food (food that was sinful for a Jew to eat) of the Babylonians, Daniel “purposed within his heart” that he would not defile himself (Dan 1:8).  That is exactly what you need to do.  Purpose in your heart, plan ahead, and decide that this behavior will no longer defile you.

I recently found out that my friend has looked at homosexual pornography.  He says that he is not this way, and he does not know why he does this.  He also says he has never done any other homosexual act.  Is this person homosexual, and what does he need to do?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

From a Bible standpoint, being ‘homosexual’ means to ‘engage in sexually immoral behavior involving the same gender’.  Homosexuality is an activity and a choice.  The Bible clearly condemns an active homosexual lifestyle (Rom 1:26-27, Jude 1:7).  Homosexuality is like any other sin – you have a choice.  If someone wishes to not be homosexual, they need to stop engaging in homosexual behavior.  That is what your friend needs to do.  Paul praised the Corinthian church because some of the christians there had once been homosexual and had since repented of that sin (1 Cor 6:9-11).  We choose to sin, and we can choose to stop sinning.  God tells us to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  That is what your friend needs to do – FLEE.  Turn off the computer, run from activities associated with homosexuality, seek counseling if necessary (Pr 15:22), and pursue things that are wholesome and good (Php 4:8).  When we replace bad behavior with good behavior, we set ourselves up to successfully conquer our sins.