I hear a lot of people saying that men have authority: is that in a marriage, a relationship, just when the Bible speaks of authority… what is it referring to?

Sincerely,
What’s My Job?

Dear What’s My Job,

Men do not have authority in all situations, but they do have authority in some.  Men are authorized by God to be the leaders in the church assembly (1 Cor 14:34).  It is their job to lead prayers, lead singing, teach, and preach in the public church setting.  Men are also authorized to serve as elders, deacons, and preachers (1 Tim 3:2, 1 Tim 3:12, 1 Tim 2:12).

Men are also responsible to be leaders in a marriage (Eph 5:23).  Leadership in marriage does not mean bossing your wife around!  Being a leader means that he must set the tone and direction for the family and be spiritually responsible for his household.  The man must love his wife with a sacrificial love that always puts her first.  He must put the needs of the family above his own… just as Christ does for the church (Eph 5:25-29).

In short, all men are not in authority over all women… men only have specific authority in specific situations, such as marriage and the leadership of a local congregation.

I do not believe people are born "gay".  Am I correct to conclude that because man was created in God's image (with free will to make choices in our lives), it wouldn't make sense that He would create some of us to live a lifestyle specifically condemned in the Bible?  Or is there a better answer given in the Bible to support this argument that people are not born homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Ain’t Talking About Being Happy

Dear Ain’t Talking About Being Happy,

Nobody is forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice whether or not they act upon those desires.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if someone is born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – they aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice.  There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.

Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust... after all heterosexual lusts get people into plenty of trouble, too.  Attraction is not the same as action.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may in fact have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

What does God's Word say about a woman preaching in the church?

Sincerely,
Chatty Cathy

Dear Chatty Cathy,

It says she can’t do it.  1 Cor 14:34-35 makes it clear that women are not supposed to be in leadership positions during the church assembly.  Women have a zillion different roles within the church, but leading the public assembly isn’t one of them.  Men have the responsibility of preaching, teaching, and leading the worship services (1 Tim 2:12).  In today’s politically correct atmosphere, this can be hard for some to swallow, but as Paul said, “We have no other custom” on this topic (1 Cor 11:16).  There is simply no Biblical precedence for women preachers.

Based on 1 Cor 11:4-7, can a man pray while wearing a hat/cap?

Sincerely,
Covered or Uncovered?

Dear Covered or Uncovered,

1 Cor 11:1-15 is a discussion of men’s and women’s roles.  Part of that discussion involves the way that men and women look.  Women are supposed to be veiled (1 Cor 11:5), and God has given women a natural veil – their long hair (1 Cor 11:15).  Likewise men are supposed to have heads that are unveiled (1 Cor 11:4), i.e. short hair (1 Cor 11:14).  It is always wrong for a man to have long, feminine hair.  There is great debate over whether or not a man wearing a hat while praying is a sin.  One cannot be too dogmatic on this point.  The verses of first Corinthians eleven are primarily dealing with hair length, not with caps or hats.

Having said that, it is culturally appropriate in America for a man to take his hat off while praying – as a sign of respect.  Therefore, since we cannot all agree on whether leaving the hat on is a sin, but we can be sure that removing the hat is respectful… probably just best to take the hat off (Rom 14:13).

I long to have children, and I feel like it is my call in life to be a mother, but my husband does not want kids.  He is very adamant about not having children, EVER!  This is not what we had planned and certainly not something that I agree with.  How lonely would it be when we are older and our families are gone and we have no kids of our own to visit with and talk to.  What do I do?  I have tried prayer and talking to him.  I don't know if I can deal with never having children.  Any advice?

Sincerely,
Baby Mama

Dear Baby Mama,

The longing of the female soul for children is as old as the world.  Ever since Eve became the mother of all living, women have wanted children (Gen 3:20).  Leah used children as the benchmark of whether she was a successful wife (Gen 29:32).  God also says that he opened Leah’s womb as a comfort and blessing to her (Gen 29:31).

Rachel was bereaved that she could not have children, and she, like you, fought with her husband over that issue (Gen 30:2).  Women unable to have children (for whatever reason) are very often vexed by a deep emotional burden.  In fact, childbearing is so entrenched in the psyche and feminine culture that women sometimes measure one another by their children; Peninnah often provoked Hannah because she had no children (1 Sam 1:6).

In fact, Hannah is an excellent example of how to deal with the sorrow of not having children.  Hannah never stopped loving her husband and maintaining a godly relationship with him (1 Sam 1:4-5).  Elkanah, her husband, didn’t understand why children were so important to Hannah, and it is likely your husband doesn’t either (1 Sam 1:7-8).  Hannah prayed constantly for God to find a way for her to have children; she prayed in her sorrow, and she prayed in hope (1 Sam 1:10).

Trust in the Lord, be a godly wife, continue to pray, and study the Scriptures with your husband on this topic, but ultimately you must learn to be content in whatever state you are in (Php 4:11).  May the Lord bless you in your difficult struggle.