What does the Bible say about homosexuality?  Is it wrong?

Sincerely,
Truth Tracker

Dear Truth Tracker,

There are numerous verses that condemn homosexuality.  In the New Testament, 1 Cor 6:9 specifically states that homosexuals cannot inherit the kingdom.  Rom 1:26-27 says that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s natural design of men and women.  1 Cor 7:2 points out that marriage is intended for a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-6 also states this).  Jude 1:7 points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their homosexual behavior.  Those are some of the most forthright New Testament verses on the subject.

Where can I find scriptures about homosexuality in the Bible?  I know they are there, but I can't find them.

Sincerely,
Hetero

Dear Hetero,

There are numerous verses that condemn homosexuality.  In the New Testament, 1 Cor 6:9 specifically states that homosexuals cannot inherit the kingdom.  Rom 1:26-27 says that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s natural design of men and women.  1 Cor 7:2 points out that marriage is intended for a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-6 also states this).  Jude 1:7 points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their homosexual behavior.  Those are some of the most forthright New Testament verses on the subject.

I am a minister/evangelist and a widow with four children.  I have just reunited with a childhood sweetheart.  We haven't seen each other in thirty years.  We have been intimate and want to get married in six months.  He is saved and a deacon at his church in another state.  He has been a member for twenty years.  I am relocating to his state.  Our main problem is that he will not compromise or is willing to change his church or denomination.  I really feel bad because I have fallen in love and want to be married again after twenty-three years of marriage to my late husband.  I have a call in my life to minister to women and children.  I want to be with him at his church, but I know it wouldn't be long.  What do I do?  We need to clean up our act; I will not minister and treat God with disrespect in the pulpit.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

The best way for you to not treat God with disrespect in the pulpit would be to stay out of the pulpit.  You are worried about which denomination to be a part of, but all denominationalism is wrong (see “Down With Denominationalism” for further details).  You are worried about mistreating the pulpit by being married to a man of different religious views, but you ignore the fact that women aren’t supposed to be in the pulpit (1 Cor 14:34).  We here at AYP have a consistent record of showing patience with people who ask questions on this site, but just like our Lord taught… we have zero patience for those who profess to teach Christ but instead are hypocrites (Matt 23:13-15).  You say that you are an evangelist, and yet you ignore the most basic Bible teachings on men and women’s roles, the error of denominationalism (Eph 4:4-6), and depending on what you mean by “we have been intimate”, maybe even have ignored God’s teachings on marriage and sex (Heb 13:4).  Ma’am, you are no minister of Christ (Matt 7:21-23).

I have a lot of questions concerning marriage.  I have studied the verses about marriage a lot, but there are a few things I am still unsure of.  I know God's structure for marriage (Eph 5:22-33, Col 3:18-19, etc.), and I do, in many ways, think it is beautiful.  I also know that God's Word is truth and that whatever He says is ultimately best for me (psalm 119:1-3), so the structure He has set up is the most ideal structure for marriage.

My question then is about what scares me, as a woman – that I have to trust someone with that kind of authority over me.  It seems unfair almost because I know that I am a capable person, so why must I be the one to submit simply because I am a woman?  A part of me feels bad questioning this because I feel like this should not rub me the wrong way the same way it does not appear to bother many of my married friends and older women that I have spoken with… but simply stated: it does bother me.  I feel guilty for not instantly wanting to do things God's way, but asking for this kind of trust in someone almost seems unreal to me.  The most important thing for me is to do things God's way, but I would like to know if there is any advice you could give me to make this easier.

On the same note, I feel very conflicted because I want to pursue a career and am currently in school for it.  I won’t graduate until I am twenty-two, and I know if I graduate, I will want to then work in the field I studied and worked hard to be certified in.  On the other hand, I am with someone, and we plan on getting married, and I would want to start a family with him closer to twenty than thirty... I guess what I am trying to explain is it has always been my dream to complete school and follow my career, but I also want a family.  I worry sometimes that maybe I am in the wrong for "not wanting all the things a woman should want" but for wanting a career too; at least, that is how every young ladies’ and women's class has ever made me feel.

I want to do things God's way, but I also want to be able to pursue my dreams, and it has, in turn, created a very big conflict in my life.  I would deeply appreciate your thoughts.

Sincerely,
Torn

Dear Torn,

The short answer to your question is: you have choices, and peace comes from knowing that whatever decisions are made are yours.  We really appreciate your forthrightness and humility; your struggle is actually the unseen struggle of many women.  Don’t take to heart what other women appear to think or feel about this subject; each heart knows its own burdens (Pr 14:10), and outward appearances can be deceiving.

You admit that God’s plan is for a husband to be the head of the household and for a wife to submit to his leadership (Eph 5:22-23), but the part of the equation you aren’t factoring in is that you get to choose who you enter into that agreement with.  In fact, there is nothing wrong with never marrying at all (Matt 19:12), and the unmarried are blessed with the benefit of being unburdened from a great deal of cares and responsibilities (1 Cor 7:32-35).  No one (including the Lord) is forcing you to be married.  Marriage brings untold benefits, but it comes with responsibilities and burdens that some do not wish to shoulder.  Men who marry must give up pursuits and freedoms, so they may provide for a family – just as much as women make sacrifices to be wives.  In the end, there is no sin in remaining unmarried or in getting married… merely consequences for both paths.

Secondly, every godly woman that submits to a husband does so of her own volition.  Whomever you marry will be your choice.  It isn’t as if you must marry the first ape-ish brute that comes down the pike.  God clearly wants you to pick a man that will love you and value your thoughts and help (Eph 5:25).  After all, God intended for Eve to be a help to Adam (Gen 2:18).  Don’t say, “I do” until you have found a man that loves the Lord, cherishes you, and values your worth.

As far as a career goes, we won’t beat around the bush – God wants the wife to be a worker at home first (Tit 2:5).  If you choose to get married and have a family, your husband and children need you as a worker at home first and foremost because raising the next godly generation is the most valuable and vital profession anyone could ever undertake.  However, many women (including the worthy woman of Proverbs 31) have found ways to fulfill their desires for work in the community either after the children are grown or in more creative ways from home.  You may find the skill sets you have acquired for your chosen career may provide you with abilities that are exceptionally useful in the home and in the church… only time will tell.

Every decision we make in life has consequences.  Every path chosen leaves a dozen other paths left untrodden.  Just remember, whatever your decision is, it is your choice to make (Eccl 11:9).

What is the role of elders?  Can women be elders?  Why or why not?

Sincerely,
Quality Control

Dear Quality Control,

Elders are the superintendents of a local congregation, and they are always men.The word elder is one title to describe the leaders of a local church. Other titles include 'overseer/bishop' (depending on translation – 1 Tim 3:1) and 'pastor' (Eph 4:11). The title of the job explains their role. They have the oversight of God’s people. That oversight only extends to one congregation (1 Pet 5:2), the local congregation that they are among. Each congregation has elders appointed in it (Acts 14:23).

Elders must meet strict requirements before they are appointed. Those qualifications can be found in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. Elders are always referred to by the pronouns 'he' and 'him' – thus making them men. Also, one of the qualifications is that they be 'a husband of one wife' (Titus 1:6) which makes it pretty clear we are talking about men. Elders also never serve alone.  All the churches in the Bible had multiple elders. Elders serve an important role of protecting, leading, and guiding the direction of a congregation. They will give an account for every christian in their congregation (Heb 13:17). A congregation should never take lightly the responsibility of appointing only completely qualified elders.