(This is a follow-up question to “Women Preachers”, “Women Preachers (Part 2)”, and “Women Preachers (Part 3)”)

Thank you very much for indulging me in our debate about women and women's roles.  I have read in earnest your replies and appreciate your forthrightness (is that a word? LOL).  The root of the reason that I ask these questions stems from my struggle with God's Word and who I am.  God made me, right?  Then why did He make me so stubborn and pig-headed? (Partly a joke, but not all the way.)  Because of the life I have lived and all the stuff I have been through, the only thing that kept me alive and sane was to be as hard as nails.  I am tired of being the "tough guy" on one hand, but on the other, I am strong because of it.  Society gives women conflicting signals: be "your own woman" BUT "find a good man".  Why can't I do both?  How now am I supposed to throw away who I am to live a life that makes me feel like I am in too-tight, itchy, wool clothing (i.e. be someone I am not)?  Am I simply being pig-headed again when I feel that in order to be what I am "supposed" to be, I will actually become a pretender?  I do not know how to be anyone other than who I am, who God made me to be.  How am I to live an honest life if I always go around trying to be something I am not?

Sincerely,
The Not-So-Feminist

Dear The Not-So-Feminist,

Who said anything about women not being allowed to be tough?!  Some of the most godly, brilliant, and faithful women are tough as nails and as resilient as sand under the tide.  Esther had the courage and bravery to stand up to the king and save the entire nation of Israel (Esther 4:16)!  It was women like Mary, Joanna, and Susanna who provided for Christ while He preached the gospel – it was their courage to stand by Him that made a difference in so many lives (Lk 8:1-3).  Abigail put her life in her hands and stood up against a wicked husband and prevented the deaths of an entire settlement of people (read the story in 1 Samuel 25); not to mention, she rebuked David in such a clever way that he adored her for her forthrightness (yes, it is a word).  Rahab risked her life to protect two of God’s servants and left a life of harlotry to become a faithful Jew (Heb 11:31).  There isn’t enough room to tell of the perseverance and knowledge of Priscilla, the devotion of Lydia, the strength of Hannah, or the wisdom of Deborah.  Suffice it to say, the Bible is simply brimming with stories of women who’ve been beaten down and assailed on every side, but they kept getting back up again.  Women and men may have different roles, but women have played a vital and truly epic part in the delivery of God’s Word to mankind.

Will your past affect the way you are as a christian today?  Definitely.  Will you have to change some things in your life to serve God?  Of course.  Will the essence of your personality be lost?  Absolutely not. God doesn’t want you to stop being tough – He wants to channel that into the right arenas.  Like you said, society sends women conflicting signals.  The Bible is designed to remove that conflict and give you real answers to what being a woman looks like… courageous, faithful, and utterly unflappable.  Being a woman isn’t the same as being a doormat.

(This is a follow-up question to “Women Preachers” and “Women Preachers (Part 2)”)

First of all, let me state that I am a believer in God's Word.  I do believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God; however, is it so impossible that human intervention (we are blessed with the gift of free will after all) in the compilation of the Bible did omit books?  Weren't the four gospels chosen out of all the others to be included because of the way they were written - easy to understand, story lines, and recognizable authors, etc. - because a group of humans got together and voted?  And as for my disinformation, I have to disagree - I AM a woman, therefore I know what it is like to be treated condescendingly because of that fact.  Long hair as a covering... what about short hair; are you saying that is a sin?  Silence in church assembly... so if I let out an "Amen" or "Praise Jesus" during a sermon, I am sinning, but if a man does, he is not?  Why should a woman's role not include leadership?  As for Mary Magdelene, by me quoting "kissed her on the...", I meant to illustrate their relationship not as a romantic one, but as a fellowship.  Do you mean to tell me that Jesus and Mary didn't have a relationship?  If you follow that line of logic, then it would be logical to say that He did not have a relationship with the twelve either.  She was part of His entourage, for lack of a better word, along with the twelve disciples.  Friendship/Fellowship/Discipleship is a *relationship*, is it not?  What about the paintings they have found in ancient worship sites with Mary in a teaching position with her two fingers raised that have been scratched out...by a human's male hand no doubt...simply because of sexism?  Is it not fact that at the time the Bible was written, women were considered so second-class that to even include them in a conversation or use them as a witness, was laughable?  For example, you seem to have labeled me in a derogatory way by judging me and calling me a feminist simply because I am asking a question that perhaps is not answerable until we are able to ask the Source.  No, God does not care about our gender, on this point we agree... but we humans sure do!

Sincerely,
Would Prefer Not To Be Called A Feminist

Dear Would Prefer Not To Be Called A Feminist,

To begin with, we did not mean to offend you by using the byline ‘The Feminist’ – your question was about female rights – the title seemed appropriate because ‘feminism’ is defined as ‘the advocacy for women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality with men’… isn’t that what you are trying to defend?

Now having said that, let’s address the issue.  No, parts of the Bible are not missing.  You cannot simultaneously say that the Bible is divinely inspired and also say that God allowed necessary parts of it to be lost.  If the Bible isn’t exactly as God wrote it, it isn’t God’s Book anymore.  You can’t have it both ways.  Your whole argument is based off the idea that when you run across something you find distasteful in the Scriptures (in this case, the verses concerning men’s and women’s roles), you can simply say, “We don’t have the complete Bible”.  Jesus says that not even the tiniest detail of the Scriptures have been lost (Matt 5:18).  Jude says that we have the Word of God handed down to us “once for all” (Jude 1:3).  Regardless of what ancient paintings, manuscripts, mythology, etc. you reference – the Bible is what the Bible is.  Your frustrations with what the Bible says about hair length, women leadership, etc. are not with us… they are with the Scriptures.  No matter how many times you talk about these subjects, you will still have to contend with verses like 1 Cor 11:15, 1 Cor 14:34, Eph 5:23, etc.  These verses aren’t going away.  God, from the very beginning, designed men and women to be equal heirs of salvation (1 Pet 3:7) but to have different roles.  Men and women are different – frankly, that shouldn’t be news to anybody.

The differences between men and women are often abused by both genders.  Women tell jokes about how stupid men are, and men condescend and demean women… neither behavior is right.  In the Bible, God doesn’t ignore the differences between men and women; He explains how men and women ought to live to fulfill their fullest potential.  Until we accept that we must mold our lives as God desires, we will never truly be submitting ourselves to Him… and whether male or female, we are all subject to God (Jas 4:7).

This is kind of a two-part question.  Is it ever okay to be angry with God?  For years, I've found myself feeling this way due to my issues of trying to turn away from having strong attractions and feelings towards members of the same sex.  Yes, I know this is condemned and all, and I can tell you that this issue is the only true reason I'm depressed.  It's not just the attraction though.  I really hate being a man – period.  All I want to do is please God, but if He doesn't make any mistakes, why couldn't He have made me a woman?  I would see then that I could satisfy Him and maybe have a little happiness inside of me.  All of this is what is making me feel frustrated.  (Oh, and I also know that everyone says that homosexuality is a choice, but I can assure you, I didn't choose to be attracted to men.  I lived a "normal" childhood with both a mother and father and was never sexually abused or anything like that).  Why is God making me suffer?

Sincerely,
Torn In Two

Dear Torn In Two,

Living a homosexual lifestyle is a choice – there is more debate over whether the attraction is a choice.  Feel free to read our article “Just Another Sin” to see more on the difference between homosexual attractions and living a sinful homosexual lifestyle.

Whether or not it is okay to be angry with God… it is normal – especially during times of great stress and trial.  Jonah was angry and spoke rashly with God, and God condemned him for it (Jon 4:1-4).  Regardless of how we feel, we must be careful to not speak rashly with or about God.  Like children with their parents, we can get upset, but we can’t be disrespectful.

You have a thorn in the flesh, a mental/physical problem that is causing you great distress.  However, God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Everyone has trials and weaknesses in various areas of their character and life.  Your temptation is one that you must fight just like any other… but take hope.  God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28).  Many others have tried and succeeded in winning the battle against homosexuality.  You can too.  We cannot imagine the struggle you are going through, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be helped.  Through many tribulations, we must enter the kingdom of heaven (Acts 14:22).  This is your cross to bear, but you can do it (Lk 14:27).  If you would like a congregation in your area to get in contact with, e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will help you as you reach out for help in your journey.

(This question is a follow-up to “Charles In Charge?”)

What is the role of the woman in the church?  Is she supposed to just sit and give tithes and offerings, or is she supposed to be active in ministries of the church?  The church is Christ's body, so the church is the people, right?

Sincerely,
Want To Be A Worker

Dear Want To Be A Worker,

Just because women don’t lead in the public assembly, doesn’t mean that they just take up pew space and write checks!  The Bible is chock-full of examples of active and vibrant godly women.  Lydia was a christian who took Paul and gave him lodging, food, and financial support (Acts 16:14-15).  Priscilla and Aquila were a married couple that taught the gospel to Apollos (Acts 18:24-26).  That same Apollos went on to become a mighty preacher… something that would have never happened without Priscilla.  John Mark’s mother opened her home for a prayer meeting that saved Peter’s life (Acts 12:11-12).

Older women are supposed to be teachers and train the younger women to be faithful wives and mothers (Tit 2:3-5).  Younger women have the immensely important task of raising godly children… the next generation of christians (Tit 2:4).  Women have children’s classes to teach, women’s classes to teach, hospitality to provide, others to encourage, and evangelism to do.

On top of all those very important and pivotal roles within the church, during the worship services, women have the task of singing and praising God (just like the men – Col 3:16) and joining in the public prayer… just because one man leads the prayer doesn’t mean we aren’t all praying together.  When the church assembles, we all are worshipping God, edifying each other, and studying His Word (Heb 10:24-25).

And yes, the church is the people – not the building.  The word ‘church’ actually means ‘the called out’.  The church is composed of those who have heard the call of Christ and have come out of the world to serve Him.

(This is a follow-up question to “Women Preachers”)

We are to remain silent and ask our husbands?  What about women's Bible study groups where we ask someone other than our husband a question?  Aren't we also, according to John, to cover our heads?  Is this not just a cultural bias of the time in which this was written?  There is no precedence that has made it past the Nicene council as to what books are canonical and which are not.  Did Jesus not love Mary Magdalene (and kiss her on the ...?), that somehow got written off as a prostitute, so that males can continue to dominate?  Why should it be that because God chose to make me a woman that I am second class to a man?  Why should it not be that He created me to be just as smart, capable, and able to lead as a man?  Doesn't God only care about our spirit and not our anatomical parts?

Sincerely,
The Feminist

Dear The Feminist,

Before we address your question, let’s get one thing straight – the Bible is complete, and there aren’t any books left out.  Read “Books of the Apocrypha” to better understand that topic.  If we don’t at the very minimum agree that the Bible is written exactly as God intended, we have no common ground with which to have a sensible discussion.  There is ZERO reason to believe that Jesus had a relationship with Mary Magdalene… that is just apocryphal mumbo-jumbo.

Now, on to your question regarding men’s and women’s roles.  You have a lot of disinformation that is coloring your question.  God doesn’t treat women as second-class citizens – they are equal heirs of salvation (1 Pet 3:7).  Women don’t need to have their heads covered – their long hair is their covering (1 Cor 11:15).  Women are also welcome to ask questions in Bible studies – the command of 1 Cor 14:34-35 pertains to the church assembly, not individual classes.  Men and women are created different, but equal.  God has designed men and women to complement each other – Adam and Eve were a pair that were incomplete if separated (Gen 2:20).  God doesn’t care about our gender… He cares about whether we are willing to fulfill the role He has given us in this life.