Please settle this debate for my husband and me.  Clarify to him that a woman that takes her clothes off for money is sinning and what commandment this falls under.  Please help me make him understand.  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Grieving Wife

Dear Grieving Wife,

It is a sin for a man to lust after a woman that isn’t his wife (Matt 5:27-28), and it is a sin for a woman to purposely tempt men with their bodies (Pr 23:27).  Read Pr 7:10-24 to understand the evil of women that sell (or give away) their bodies for viewing to men other than their husbands.  Nakedness is meant to be reserved for a marriage (Heb 13:4).  Uncovering your nakedness is a shameful thing (Ezek 23:18, Rev 16:15).  A man is designed and commanded by God to take joy in the wife of his youth (Pr 5:18)… and no other (Matt 18:9).

What is the role of elders?  Can women be elders?  Why or why not?

Sincerely,
Quality Control

Dear Quality Control,

Elders are the superintendents of a local congregation, and they are always men.The word elder is one title to describe the leaders of a local church. Other titles include 'overseer/bishop' (depending on translation – 1 Tim 3:1) and 'pastor' (Eph 4:11). The title of the job explains their role. They have the oversight of God’s people. That oversight only extends to one congregation (1 Pet 5:2), the local congregation that they are among. Each congregation has elders appointed in it (Acts 14:23).

Elders must meet strict requirements before they are appointed. Those qualifications can be found in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. Elders are always referred to by the pronouns 'he' and 'him' – thus making them men. Also, one of the qualifications is that they be 'a husband of one wife' (Titus 1:6) which makes it pretty clear we are talking about men. Elders also never serve alone.  All the churches in the Bible had multiple elders. Elders serve an important role of protecting, leading, and guiding the direction of a congregation. They will give an account for every christian in their congregation (Heb 13:17). A congregation should never take lightly the responsibility of appointing only completely qualified elders.

I have been talking to this guy for about seven months now.  We live in different cities.  I have fallen in love with him, and he has with me, too.  Here is the problem: he is married, but the two have never lived in the same house, shared debts, supported each other, and her family has him followed and is always putting him down.  Yes, they have had relations, and he wants a divorce but doesn't believe he has biblical grounds to do so.  Does he have grounds to divorce her and marry me (which is what he wants to do in his heart, but he is afraid that if we do, then we are committing adultery, but he already has done that in his heart and isn't sorry that he has fallen in love with me)?  I need help fast.

Sincerely,
Not His Wife

Dear Not His Wife,

He has absolutely no grounds to divorce her, and any level of romantic relationship that you two share is sinful and dangerous.  Regardless of the state of his marriage… he is married.  The fact that he has been rationalizing an extramarital affair for the last seven months hasn’t made it right.  It is important to realize that following your heart isn’t the same as doing the right thing (Pr 12:15).  In fact, doing the right thing is often a matter of doing the exact opposite of what we want to do (Matt 16:24).

If you choose to willfully sin, your soul is in eternal peril (Heb 10:26).  The best thing you can do for yourself and for him is to cut this relationship off.  There are many wonderful men in this world that you may pursue that won’t send you to hell.

(This post is a follow-up to “Lust Of The Eyes”)

My husband looks at other women and has even done so on the internet.  He says all men do it and that they even lust, but we both know lusting is wrong.  Can you please tell me from the standpoint of a godly man… have you lusted?

Sincerely,
Jealous Wife

Dear Jealous Wife,

All human beings struggle with lust, but the operative word is struggle.  Your husband is using the fact that all people sin as an excuse to continue sinning.  Lusting after women that you aren’t married to is adultery in your heart (Matt 5:27-28).  Your husband needs to make a heartfelt decision to repent of this sin (Acts 3:19).  The word ‘repent’ means to ‘change your mind’.  He is currently embracing this sin by looking at women on the internet; he needs to start struggling with this dark temptation.

I would like to thank you for this service.  Please be patient while I ask three questions.

When Paul encourages those "yoke fellows" in Philippians 4:3 to "help those women which labored with me in the gospel", how were the women laboring with Paul?  I have read Wesleyan and Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentaries, and both allude to the women mentioned as "laborers"… but in a limited scope based on 1 Tim 2:11-12.  JF-Brown states that they were limited and alluded to them being in a less prominent sphere; which brings me to my next question:

Is there Scriptural support for women being in a prominent sphere in ministry (i.e. teaching, preaching, apostleship, etc.)?

My last question is: does 1 Tim 2:12 refer to women in a ministerial role at a church?  I anxiously await your reply.

Sincerely,
What About The Ladies?

Dear What About The Ladies,

The church is full of women that are faithful, zealous, and needed servants.  Paul mentions women ministering to others’ needs in Php 4:3, Rom 16:1, and Rom 16:3 – just to name a few.  We have the example of Lydia being a servant to the church (Acts 16:14).  We also have the example of Priscilla teaching and converting (Acts 18:24-26).  We don’t know exactly what the women of Php. 4:2-3 were doing to help Paul, but we know they were working hard.  They are many ways to help the cause of Christ, and it never specifies what specific things Euodia and Syntyche were doing to help the church.

Having said that, we do know what they weren’t doing.  Paul specifically mentions that women are to keep silent in the church assembly (1 Cor 14:34-35).  Women are not supposed to serve as public teachers in the worship service because men have the responsibility to lead the church in public teaching.  Elders (Tit 1:5-6), deacons (1 Tim 3:12), and preachers (2 Tim 2:2) are all required to be men.  1 Tim 2:12 specifically prohibits christian women from teaching christian men in a congregational forum.