Is it a sin to wear pants?

Sincerely,
One Leg At A Time

Dear One Leg At A Time,

We are guessing that your question has to do with women wearing pants.  The Old Testament gives us the principle that women are to dress like women, and men are to dress like men (Deu 22:5).  This concept of men avoiding looking effeminate and women looking feminine is reiterated in the New Testament (1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 2:9).  In some cultures and time periods, only men wore/wear pants… other cultures have pants that are specifically tailored for women, and it would be quite noticeable and disturbing if men wore them!  The key is that men are to dress like men, and women are to dress like women.  Men should never look effeminate, and women aren’t to look masculine.  Culture and current fashion will dictate the specifics of what we wear, but the principle remains the same throughout all ages.

Sometimes I feel like the harder I try to keep my thoughts and my actions pure, the harder the devil works to try to put road blocks in the way.  I was raised in a christian home in which sex or any idea related to the naked human body was not discussed.  I have tried to do a better job of preparing my children for what they will be faced with as adults, but I really don't want to expose them to too much.  I guess that I'm finding that the relationship between a man and a woman doesn't seem to be a sacred relationship anymore.  Even some of my best "christian" friends make jokes or comments that seem offensive to me even around my children.  I guess my question: am I too uptight about this type of open discussion because of my upbringing, or is this type of banter something that we as christians should steer clear of?

Sincerely,
Mother Hoverer

Dear Mother Hoverer,

You aren’t crazy; the world and culture that we live in doesn’t treat the male and female relationship with respect, and that culture has bled into the church.  God warns christians against any sort of lewd jokes, crass language, or irreverent speech (Eph 4:29, Tit 2:7-8).  Heb 13:4 says that we should all hold the marriage relationship in a place of honor.  If anything that we say or do treats marriage as crass, common, or cheap – that is wrong.  We can’t tell you exactly where the line is between humorous banter and crass joking… but it is there, and we need to avoid that line.

The second part of your question deals with raising children.  You are wise to not expose your children to too much too quickly.  God tells us to train up our children in the way they should go (Pr 22:6).  Whenever you train someone, you start small and slowly introduce them to more complex issues as they learn.  That is how God would have us treat children – someday they will have to face all of these issues themselves, but until they are ready, parents are to be the filter through which they are introduced to the ethics and issues of life.

Is sex before marriage a sin and why?

Sincerely,
Unvowed

Dear Unvowed,

Sex before marriage is a sin.  From the very beginning, God designed marriage as the realm for sexual relations (Gen 2:24).  1 Cor 7:1-2 states that any relations outside of marriage are fornication.  God tells us to flee all fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  Even though sexual immorality is rampant in our culture and accepted by our society, that doesn’t make it right.  Christians are called to honor God and honor marriage by leaving the marriage bed pure and undefiled (Heb 13:4).

Is it wrong for christian teens to participate in school dances like prom and homecoming?

Sincerely,
Sock Hop

Dear Sock Hop,

The reason that many christian parents hesitate to encourage their kids go to prom, homecoming, and other school dances is that they often include activities that are sinful.  Modern dancing is designed to be sexually provocative, and it puts young men and women in compromising positions that nurture the sort of behavior and attitudes that lead to sexual immorality and unhealthy relationships.  Not all dancing is sinful (Eccl 3:4), but the kind of dancing encouraged at most school dances is not wholesome.  We are told to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18), to do things that are honorable (Rom 12:17), and to avoid even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:21-22).  School dances, at best, put teens in situations that don’t appear godly, and at worst, can lead to things like pre-marital sex.  When people engage in the type of dancing so often seen in today’s culture, they act in a way that appears indecent and gives room for the lust of the flesh to overpower them (Rom 6:12, 1 Jn 2:16).

Why are young girls so mean?  I never see any in church; they all go out and sin.  They all like bad things.  I remember reading in Matt 7:13 about the two gates; very few will enter into heaven, and many will enter in the gates of the bad places.  Therefore, what I understand, if I’m not wrong, is that more people will go down than up.

Sincerely,
Angry Boy

Dear Angry Boy,

Ummm, we know many faithful young women who love the Lord and are very godly… our congregation is chock full of women, young and old, that honor the Lord and are shining lights of faith.  You have obviously had some bad experiences with women, and we are very sorry for your suffering, but we would caution you against lambasting all girls in your frustration with a few.  A good way to create a hostile relationship between you and women is to start out by telling them that you think they are all mean!  God urges us to always be careful to bridle our tongues (Jas 1:26).  Be slow to speak, slow to wrath, and swift to hear (Jas 1:19).

It is true that many people will not make it to heaven – wide is the gate to destruction (Matt 7:13).  However, from the context of your question, it sounds like you are trying to say that all young girls will go to hell – that is obviously wrong.  Women are equal heirs of salvation (1 Pet 3:7), and the Bible gives many examples of amazing women who have changed the course of history through their faithfulness.