My parents are great christians.  I've been raised in a happy home.  I'm not a christian yet.  How do I figure out if this sort of a commitment is right for me?  The thought of breaking my parents' hearts is almost too much to bear, but I need to be able to make this my own.  I feel like I should already have made this decision; I'm not a kid anymore.  What part of the Bible can I read, so that everything clicks?

Sincerely,
Under My Own Burden

Dear Under My Own Burden,

You know the commitment is right for you if you are unable to live with the consequences of not making the commitment to God.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Pr 1:7).  We often forget that not choosing to become a christian is a choice, too.  We either serve God, or we serve something else; we cannot have two masters (Matt 6:24).  The consequence of obeying God’s Word is salvation and life (Rom 1:16).  The consequence of not serving God is death (Rom 6:23).

There is no magic trick or single verse that makes Christianity “click” for us.  Commitment happens when we weigh the benefits of Christ against the “benefits” of serving ourselves.  After you have counted the cost (Lk 14:28) of service and the cost of not serving, you can make your decision.  Just remember, indecision eventually becomes a decision as well.  Lukewarm is as bad, if not worse, than outright disobedience (Rev 3:16).  We will all eventually die and face the judgment (Heb 9:27).  Will you have lived and prepared for that day?

I was wondering, do the people that hurt you, lie to you, cheat on you ever hurt themselves?  I was in a relationship, and I really loved this person, and he really hurt me.  He played on my emotions and just destroyed my hope of falling in love again.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Hurt To The Heart

Dear Hurt To The Heart,

Your situation, though vague, provides a real-life example of how sin hurts others.  When we live ungodly lives, we harm those around us.  One sinner will destroy much good (Eccl 9:18), but will that sinner suffer for their wrongdoing?

The answer is ‘yes’.  God tells us that we reap what we sow (Gal 6:7-8).  When we live selfish lives, we suffer the bitterness of those lifestyles.  God is not mocked, and vengeance belongs to Him (Rom 12:19).  Evil people will suffer eternally for their choices (Lk 16:25).  When we live sinful lives, we hurt no one more than ourselves.

My ex adopted three kids after we divorced.  I have tried to be a dad figure in their lives.  I have decided to start dating, and ex says I can no longer see the kids.  They have all had horrible dads that were abusive or absent.  I don't want to be another person that walks out on them.  Will God judge me for not being there even though I want to be but can't because of my ex?  Am I selfish to want to move on with my life?  I love these kids, and they tell friends that I am their dad.

Sincerely,
Distant Dad

Dear Distant Dad,

You can only do what you can do.  If you can be involved in their lives, even in a small way – you should.  Even though you aren’t their biological father, they view you that way.  You have a responsibility to do whatever you can to be involved and do good in their lives (Gal 6:10).

Having said that, it sounds like you don’t have a lot of control over the issue.  God only holds us accountable for what we are capable of doing (2 Cor 8:11-12).  You must be ready and willing to be involved, but if your ex-wife forbids you from being involved, you are no longer bound.

Pray about this issue (1 Thess 5:17).  Ask God for wisdom and petition your ex-wife for the opportunity to continue to do what you know is right.  After that, trust the Lord and find peace that He will make all things work together for good (Rom 8:28).

{To our AYP Readers – the following is a follow-up to the post “A “Pastor” Problem”.  In order to fully appreciate this post, you should go back and read the previous question.}

Thanks for writing me back.  I hear what you are saying; I think that my father-in-law should be pushing me to the next level.  My wife still does not want to leave her dad’s church, but I have to do what GOD is calling me to do.  I want to please GOD and not man, so I am getting myself together, so I can do the will of GOD for my life.  And you are right if we start doing things GOD’s way and not our way (sic-AYP).  What do I do now that I realize this?  I could lose my wife to her dad.  I am praying for things to change, but until then, I will stay on bended knees.  Please give more insight, please.

 

Sincerely,
Pastored Pastor

Dear Pastored Pastor,

I’m not sure that you do understand what we are saying.  We are saying that the church you are a part of is not God’s church.  You are not a pastor in the Lord’s church, nor have you ever been.  You were ordained to fulfill a position that isn’t found in the Bible and serve in an apostate congregation.  You shouldn’t be “pushed to the next level”; you should start over again.  You are not abiding within the doctrine of Christ and His Word is not in you (2 Jn 1:9).

If you really do want to serve God, and we pray you do, you will have to leave this church.  Christ said that He would set families against themselves (Matt 10:34-36).  If you choose to find a faithful church (please read “Finding A Church” and “Preacher Interrogation”), it will set you against your wife and father-in-law.  You will need to start over and look at the Bible as your standard for all your behavior.  Nicodemus, a Pharisee, feared what Jesus’ preaching meant for His position, but ultimately – the truth is the truth (Jhn 3:1-2).  We must be prepared to do whatever it takes to put the Lord first.  You need to leave man’s religion and start a new life, never again adding or taking away from God’s standards (Rev 22:18-19).

I'm old enough to get baptized, and I've been raised in a household that really emphasizes Bible knowledge.  I want to get baptized... I feel like I should have a while ago.  Here's my hang-up: even though I know a lot of Bible facts, I don't feel like I know enough to be a christian.  I can't explain most of the Bible to my friends yet.  What type of christian would that be?!  I feel ashamed and frustrated and kind of stupid.

Sincerely,
Not Enough Knowledge

Dear Not Enough Knowledge,

To become a christian, you only need to know two things:

1. What it takes to become a christian.  Feel free to read the post “What Must I Do To Be Saved?”.
2. That the Bible will be your only guide for the rest of your life (Rom 1:16).

As you read through the New Testament, you see many conversions that occurred with only this knowledge.  The Ethiopian eunuch became a christian after only a chariot ride Bible study (Acts 8:38).  The Philippian jailer obeyed the gospel after only one evening of study (Acts 16:31-33).  Three thousand people became christians after only one sermon (Acts 2:38-41).

When we first become christians, we are only babies (1 Cor 3:1).  It is only after time and practice that we become mature and full-grown adult christians (Heb 5:14).  If you are prepared to learn and grow in God’s Word, that is enough.  Get baptized, become a christian, and begin your journey.