I have been searching for God and trying to convince myself of Jesus being my savior, but I am still on my journey, I suppose.  I'm concerned that I'll die and be unforgiven before I can finally convince myself of God.  Perhaps this is something only God can help me with?  I'm a true skeptic, but I have been finding increasing evidence of there being a divine creator, God.  Should I pray to Him that He reveals Himself to me?  I guess my real question is... will He forgive me for not believing in Him when I am not convinced of Him?  I haven't read the Bible yet, and I've been increasingly convinced; should I read the Bible, all of it?  What if I don't read it before I die?  It does sort of feel like I am being pursued by God to believe in Him... I'm just not yet convinced...

(I used to be christian; then I rejected Christ because I realized I was 'believing' without actually believing.  I couldn't live as a hypocrite to myself, still can't today).

Like Plato talked about, I don't wish to be a blind man just happening to take the right path.  That is not knowledge.  If knowledge only truly comes from Him, when will He bless me with it, so I may know Him?  It's so backwards to me... doesn't the Bible say that He will only reveal Himself to me after I put faith in Him before I can convince myself of Him?  Sometimes I want to believe; it's just the doubt... like I said though, maybe it's just the journey I have to take without any help.  Would God put me on one of those journeys?  Will I be lost as long as I strive to be an intelligent and rational human being that bases belief on incidences in my life I'm convinced of?

There have been times where God has answered me... I'd say "God, if you do this for me, I will never doubt you again."  It would then happen, but I ended up brushing it off as coincidence afterward... this was when I was really young though.

Doubt has to be the hardest problem to deal with... maybe I just want reassurance that I'll find Him; it's only a matter of time, and if I don't find Him, He'll be understanding as long as I was given a reasonable amount of time in my life and enough evidence to convince me that He is there.  I don't like dogma...

I apologize for this being so long; I guess I just needed to get it out... I also want some guidance I guess.  Is there any Bible verses online that could help deal with this?  Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Unconvinced

Dear Unconvinced,

No, the Bible does not say that God will only reveal Himself to you once you have faith.  God reveals Himself to all of mankind through creation (Rom 1:20) and through His Word (Rom 10:17).  Many religious groups that profess to be christian teach the circular logic that you can’t know about God until you trust in Him – that is wrong.  We have an entire section of AskYourPreacher.org that is dedicated to EVIDENCES.  We here at AYP became christians because of the evidence.  These evidences are found in creation, the proven fulfilled prophecies of the Bible, the uniqueness of the Scriptures, and the proven accuracy of the Bible (we recommend you read “God Is Alive” and “Who Wrote The Bible”).

God will not forgive you for not believing in Him because He has made so much evidence available to prove His existence.  From mountains to molecules, this world screams of a Creator.  Seek the truth, and the truth will set you free (Jhn 8:32).  We too once doubted God’s existence, but after reading books like Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell, A Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel, and Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel (too name a few) – it became very clear that there is real proof that God truly is alive.  After you’ve taken some time to read some of these articles and material, write us back at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we would be happy to show you what it takes to become a christian and find a faithful church to be a part of.  The truth is out there for those (like yourself) seeking it (Matt 7:7).

How do you find God’s will for your life?  My husband lost his job, and we know God has a plan for everyone’s life, but how do you discover this?  We pray, but nothing happens.  In fact, things get even worse.  We are faithful and attend church every week.  We don't tithe any more because there is no money left after paying all our bills.  Help with understanding.

Sincerely,
Life Is Hard

Dear Life Is Hard,

God’s will for your life is for you to be transformed from the ways of this world (Rom 12:2).  Serving God isn’t always simple.  Christianity guarantees trials and tribulations (Acts 14:22).  Those trials can draw us closer to God, provide us with hope of eternity, and teach us important life lessons (Rom 5:3-5).  Trials have the ability to bring the best out of people – if we let them.  Like the sun softens butter and hardens clay, trials soften humble hearts and harden selfish souls.  Christianity is about relinquishing control of our lives and trusting in the Lord (Pr 3:5).  Our hearts go out to you as you suffer through various trials of no small degree – suffering is never pleasant.  Yet, you can know that the Lord will care for His people (Ps 37:25), and there is much to learn from the trials this life brings (Heb 12:11).

Dear preacher, my name is (omitted), and I am a christian.  I trust your competence and knowing of the Scriptures, and I would like to ask you one very serious question.  At least, it is very serious for me.  I am married to a non-christian girl.  She does not want to know about God and about the Bible even though she respects my faith and is not against me attending the church meetings.  We are going to have a child soon, Lord willing.  She wants to baptize the child according to Russian Orthodox tradition in the Russian Orthodox church.  I tried to explain to her that this is not according to the Bible, that this is not what God wants, and that this is not true baptism because the child cannot even understand what is being done with him... she insists on baptizing the child, which, Lord willing, is to be born soon.  What should I do in this case as a christian?  Should I let her baptize the child if she really insists on this?  I do not know what to do... I want to save our family... I really want to save our family.

When she told me that she wanted to baptize the child in the Russian Orthodox church, I told her that if she really believes in this (in the necessity of baptism of infants) - I cannot stop her from doing this... I told her that if she wants to do this – I’d let her do this, but I will not do anything to support her.  I will not even take her with our car to the Russian Orthodox church for this purpose.

I also told her that when our child reaches certain age, I will take him to the children’s Bible classes at our congregation, so that he would be able to know about God from the very early years of his life.  She told me that she will not let me do this - if I do this, she will leave me and will take the child with her.  I am in great despair at this moment.  I want to save our family, but it seems that if she does not change her attitude - this will not be possible.

Sometimes, I want to tell her that if she really insists that she will not let me take the child to the children’s Bible classes - she should leave me right now.  Should we get divorced based on 1 Corinthians 7?  I never thought that she would become so hard-hearted.  She believes that the commandments of the Lord in the Bible make people limited and cause them not to enjoy their life in full.

I have made certain mistakes as a person not really experienced in marriage, but each time I asked her to forgive me, it seems like she forgave me.  In the same way, she made mistakes… which I forgave.  But I do not know what to do in this case.  I really need your help and your advice.

Sincerely,
Unorthodox Father

Dear Unorthodox Father,

Our heart really and truly goes out to you - you are obviously "unequally yoked" in spiritual matters (2 Cor 6:14).  There is no simple answer in this case, but there are some principles that you should consider.

1. You are the spiritual head of your household, and you have a responsibility to guide your family in God's ways (Eph 5:23).
2. This responsibility means that you must behave as Christ does towards His church - sacrificially and lovingly.  Being a husband means that you must pick your battles; be the first to forgive and the first to show kindness (Eph 5:28-29).  The spiritual direction of your child's life is a battle worth picking, but if you are constantly fighting over less important things... the issues that matter won't be treated with the gravity that is necessary.
3. If she does baptize the child in the Russian Orthodox church - it won't matter.  The child will get wet, but it won't affect its soul.  Take comfort in that.
4. You mentioned 1 Cor 7 - if she wants to leave, you can let her go (1 Cor 7:15), but that doesn't mean you should hope that she leaves.  As long as she wants to be married to you – even with your religious convictions – you need to try and make your marriage work (1 Cor 7:12).  As frustrated as you are right now, you never know if your good behavior might get her to see the light (1 Cor 7:16).

In short, hang in there.  Stand your ground on moral principles and give way on matters of opinion.  The Lord will bless you, and your child, in your faithfulness (Rom 8:28, 1 Cor 7:14).

Is it wrong to be superstitious?  I would think that it would fall into the same category as putting your faith in the occult or any sort of "mysticism".  Is this true or harmless fun?

Sincerely,
Lucky 13

Dear Lucky 13,

Superstition is wrong.  The dictionary defines ‘superstition’ as ‘a widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences of an action or event, or a practice based on such a belief’.  Superstition means that you are placing trust in the supernatural power of a rabbit’s foot, not walking under ladders, four-leaf clovers, etc.  This is always wrong.  We are supposed to place our trust in God (Ps 56:11).  Superstition is a mild and socially acceptable form of witchcraft or divining.  There is no difference between trusting in a lucky coin and trusting in the astrological tables.  Astrology and horoscopes are wrong (Deu 4:19, 2 Kgs 23:5); witchcraft and magical arts are wrong (Acts 19:19).  Superstition falls into the same category as those practices.

I'm very depressed and have lost all hope.  I have been married for two years now after three years of courtship.  My marriage lacks intimacy.  No matter how hard I try, I just meet rejection.  He told me that there will be intimacy someday, but he does not know when.  I've basically tried everything to bring back the spark but just meet disappointment.  Is this the way God wants me to be?  Is it okay to live in this marriage, faithful for the sake of keeping the marriage together and for the kids?  Is it all right to stop thinking of my own self and ignore my needs?  I fear and love God and do not want to do anything that He would not approve.  I know God would not want anyone to be unhappy, and I know God wants me to be a faithful person...but what kind of price am I paying?  Please enlighten me and help me deal with this situation.

Sincerely,
Despondent Wife

Dear Despondent Wife,

There are two major concepts that you need to consider in your situation.

1. It is always wrong to get a divorce – except in the case of adultery (Matt 19:9).  No matter how unhappy you are, it would be a sin for you to get a divorce.  Being a christian isn’t about doing what makes us happy… it is about being faithful to God which includes keeping His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  We must be prepared to deny ourselves and follow after Christ (Matt 16:24).  Marriage difficulties are currently your cross to take up and bear.
2. God does want for you to have a happy marriage and family.  He outlines in multiple areas of the Bible how to achieve that.  Eph 5:22-31, Col 3:18-21, and 1 Cor 7:1-5 are great examples of God’s teachings on the subject of marriage.  It is quite possible to have a loving, faithful marriage if you work together and use God’s Word as your guide.  Regardless of what your spouse does, if you obey God’s commands, it will make your marriage better.

Marital problems, though all similar, are unique to each couple.  We highly recommend you find a Biblical counselor (one that teaches Bible principles and NEVER treats divorce as a solution) and that you and your husband begin to get help.  Sometimes, we all need a helping hand (Pr 11:14).