Is it okay for a Christian to be in support of gay marriage?  I'm guessing the answer is ‘no’.  What about hanging out and being friends with people that support gay marriage?

Sincerely,
Finding Friends

Dear Finding Friends,

Homosexual marriage, the right to abortion (i.e. the right to kill babies), freedom of worship, etc. are issues that, regardless of other political views, a Christian must stand firm on. A Christian that supports homosexual marriage is supporting and endorsing sin. It is no different than Solomon building idolatrous temples for his wives – he sinned in condoning their sin (1 Kgs 11:4-9).

Now, the second part of your question has to do with keeping company with those who support homosexual “marriage”.  Christians are constantly trying to strike the balance between being lights to the world (Matt 5:14) and keeping themselves pure and undefiled from the world’s influences (Jas 1:27).  As long as we live on this planet, we will have trials (Jhn 16:33).  It is a fine line between being an influence and being corrupted by the world.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  It isn’t wrong to befriend someone who is living a homosexual lifestyle or endorsing such behavior, just like it isn’t wrong to befriend someone who lies or uses bad language… but we must always be guarded in our relationships with those outside of Christ (2 Cor 6:14).  The Lord loves people but hates sin.  You should show love for these people in your life but still abhor their sinful choices (after all, those sins are destroying their souls!).  If you can influence a person for good, then do so.  If they are corrupting you and keeping you from being the best Christian you can be, begin to distance yourself (Gal 5:1).  You may even deem it appropriate to tell the person why you are distancing yourself (1 Pet 3:15).  Maybe, just maybe, they will change if they are made aware of what their choices are costing them.

Is it Biblically wrong for a married couple (with no fertility issues or anything like that) to simply choose not to have kids?  I know in the Old Testament that God said to be fruitful and multiply; is anything like this found in the New Testament?

Sincerely,
Just The Two Of Us

Dear Just The Two Of Us,

No, it isn’t a sin.  Although there is some debate over whether the command to be fruitful and multiply – which was given to Adam and Eve (Gen 1:22) and also to Noah’s family (Gen 9:1) – still applies, it is generally understood that this command does not apply to us today.  The world has been “replenished” from the days of Noah, and the concept of multiplying to fill the earth is not addressed in the New Testament.  Although the most common pattern will always be for married couples to have children, it is not a sin for a couple to have no children.

I hear that 50% of pastors agree with living together before marriage; does that mean living together and being celibate?

Sincerely,
Data Digger

Dear Data Digger,

We cannot speak to what various religious leaders mean by “living together”, but we can say that it is wrong to live together before marriage… celibate or not.  The Bible’s teachings on that subject are very clear.  It is fornication to sleep with someone you aren’t married to (1 Thess 4:3).  Furthermore, it is a sin to do anything that has the appearance of evil – such as living with someone you aren’t married to (1 Thess 5:22).  On top of that, we are taught to flee from fornication; we should never put ourselves in a position that makes it easy to make the wrong choices (1 Cor 6:18).  The Biblical pattern is very clear – marriage is when a man and a woman should start their own household together (Mk 10:7).

What does the Bible have to say about arranged marriages?  Are they scripturally sound if the people have not chosen each other and are not in love?

Sincerely,
Rearranging The Arrangement

Dear Rearranging The Arrangement,

The Bible neither condemns nor commends arranged marriages.  In the Old Testament, it was very common for marriages to be arranged by the parents, and God made specific laws addressing the parents’ right to refuse or endorse a marriage (one example of this is Ex. 22:17).  However, the Song of Solomon deals with romantic love and tells young couples to “not awake love” prematurely (Songs 3:5), which implies that it is appropriate for young men and women to have a say in who they marry.

There is nothing unscriptural about an arranged marriage.  A husband can behave in a loving and selfless way to his wife even if they haven’t had the opportunity to become romantically attached (Eph 5:25).  Likewise, a wife can respect and honor her husband that she hasn’t had the time to become close to (Eph 5:24).  Of course, it becomes easier to fulfill these commands as time goes on, but it is not unscriptural to be married to someone through an arranged marriage.  Biblical love and respect are choices, not merely feelings.

Can a pastor who is married to a divorced woman still lead the church of God?

Sincerely,
Protecting The Office

Dear Protecting The Office,

It depends.  For the sake of clarity, we will assume that the man is biblically and appropriately married to this woman (there are many details involved with marriage after a divorce that go far beyond the scope of this question) and that the man has always been a faithful husband.  The Scriptures require the elder to be a “one-woman-man” (1 Tim 3:2).  A congregation would have to make a decision whether or not the man was properly fulfilling that requirement.

Secondly, an elder’s wife must be “grave, not a slanderer, temperate, and faithful in all things” (1 Tim 3:11).  Depending on the circumstances surrounding the woman’s divorce and her current behavior and conduct, this divorced woman may or may not disqualify her husband from serving as a pastor.