Hi, I was wanting to know if my wife and I will still be married in heaven?  I have been taught in the past that the Bible says you will know as you are known.  I always thought that meant that I would still be married to her, and I would still know my family because I know her as my wife.  Please tell me what you think and explain it to me!  Please respond ASAP.  God Bless!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
A Married Man

Dear A Married Man,

You will not be married to your wife in heaven… but that doesn’t mean you won’t know her.  Even those in torments know those who are in Paradise (the rich man knew Lazarus – Lk 16:24).  You will know your spouse in heaven, but you definitely will not be married to her.  Jesus makes that very clear in Matt 22:30.  There is no marriage in heaven.

    I read the post "When Two Oxen Fall in Love" and had a question.  The verse you used to say that God tells Christians to only marry other Christians was 1 Corinthians 7:39.  1 Cor 7:39 is not directed to all those who would be married but specifically to those who have spouses who have passed and seek to be remarried.  I understand that all of us may be able to ascertain God's will for us as Christians from this verse, but I am unwilling to use it as law except in its given context.  I guess my question is this: does the Word of God explicitly tell Christians that they cannot marry someone who is not yet a Christian?

Sincerely,
Want It In Writing

Dear Want It In Writing,

The Bible never uses the words, “No Christian can marry a non-Christian”, but there are enough clear verses that we feel confident in saying that it is a sin.  1 Cor 7:39 is one of those verse.  If a Christian widow shouldn’t marry a non-Christian, it makes no sense that those marrying for the first time should.

However, the most powerful verse on this subject is 2 Cor 6:14.  When it says, “Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers,” we must ask the question, “Is marriage a form of ‘yoking’ yourself to someone?”

To ‘yoke’ means to ‘couple or attach to’ something.  Marriage, by God’s definition, is when a man and a woman become one (Gen 2:24).  Marriage vows are definitely a yoke.  Therefore, 2 Cor 6:14 would include the prohibition against marrying an unbeliever.

I was wondering: if I stay with a man, and we sleep in the same bed but do not have sex, is that fornication?

Sincerely,
Super Sleepy

Dear Super Sleepy,

Would you be okay with your daughter doing that?!  Christianity isn’t about how close we can get to sin, it is about living lives that are striving for purity in all areas (Rom 6:1-2, Jas 4:8).  God commands us to “flee fornication” (1 Cor 6:18).  Sleeping in the same bed as a man that you are not married to is not “fleeing” by any stretch of the imagination.

When we play with fire, we tend to get burned.  Sleeping in the same bed is dangerous, bad for your reputation (1 Tim 6:14), not honorable in the sight of man (Rom 12:17), and sets your relationship up for failure because it will be built upon physical intimacy instead of one another’s character (1 Pet 3:4).  If this man truly cares about you – he will happily wait for that level of intimacy until you are married (1 Cor 7:2).

My question is: some people say that when you get married, your vow before God is what matters most.  I know of a husband and wife that exchanged vows before God with no pastor or witnesses.  They said that in about a year, they are going to have a public and legal wedding.  They believe that since they vowed it before God, He sees them as married now, and the ceremony is only something they want for legal, family, and tradition’s sake.  Is it true that God sees them as married?  I know they both believe that vows are holy before God.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Wedding Wonderer

Dear Wedding Wonderer,

The problem with that kind of arrangement is that:

1. There is really no Biblical precedent for being "married before God" and not married before the law and family.  Christians are supposed to obey the laws of the land (Rom 13:1-3).
2. The couple is putting themselves in a position where they look like they are living together without being married.  This means that they are sending the wrong message to mankind.  Christians are supposed to shine as lights in the world (Matt 5:16) and live a "good manner of life in Christ" that they may put to shame those who revile the name of Christ (1 Pet 3:16)
3. They are setting themselves up to be deceptive.  When they file for taxes, are they going to say they weren't married?  If great aunt Elma asks when they were married... what will they say?  There are lots of problems with this arrangement.

No matter how you slice it - it is better and Biblical to be up front and legal before God and man.

What does it mean when you are asked, "Is the yoke uneven?"

Sincerely,
Huh?

Dear Huh,

The verse being referred to is 2 Cor 6:14.  A ‘yoke’ is a ‘harness used to tie oxen together, so that they can pull a plow or cart’.  When God tells us not to be “unequally yoked” to an unbeliever, He is warning us not to put ourselves in a position where we are committed and tied to someone who doesn’t share our values.  The most poignant example of this is marriage.

If you are a Christian and you are married to someone who is not a Christian… you are going to have MAJOR problems.  Your life is going one way, and their’s is going another.  It is hard to pull a plow if the oxen don’t both go the same direction!  This is why God tells Christians to only marry other Christians (1 Cor 7:39).  So when someone asks you, “Is the yoke uneven?”, they are probably asking whether you are married to a Christian.