I met a lady who is a Christian (as I am).  We have been both been married four times each and have determined that marriage is not the answer for us.  I love her heart and soul; we share Scripture together, etc. The problem is sex; she feels that it’s completely wrong outside of marriage.  Is there any hope for us?  We are both forty-six.

Sincerely,
0 for 4

Dear 0 for 4,

There isn’t any hope for you unless you start listening to her because she is right, and you are wrong.  It is always sinful for people to lay with one another outside of marriage (1 Cor 7:1-4).  Sex outside of marriage is called ‘fornication’ – it is sinful and will bring you into judgment (Heb 13:4).  Hell will be full of those who don’t honor God’s commands regarding chastity (Rev 21:8).  You must obey God’s commandments as well as this woman’s desire to be righteous.  Make sure that you avoid sin and cease putting stumbling blocks in front of this woman (Matt 18:7).

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years.  We're doing pretty much everything right... no fornication, growing closer together and with God, improving each other's character, and so forth.  I fully plan on having a pastor marry the two of us.  Now my question is... since a pastor will be marrying us, is it wrong for the two of us to get married outside of a church, like in a park or a beach instead?

Sincerely,
Not Going To The Chapel

Dear Not Going To The Chapel,

It is perfectly fine if you get married in a park, at the beach, in a tree house, etc.  Furthermore, it isn’t even important that a religious leader officiate your wedding.  The Bible never specifies the details of wedding ceremonies.  Each culture and family is left to dictate its own traditions and arrangements.  Just be sure to obey the laws regarding legal marriage in whatever part of the world you live (Tit 3:1, Rom 13:1-3).  Your marriage would be just as legitimate if you were married by a Justice of the Peace.  Whatever legal road you take to marriage, just remember that your vows are before God.

My husband is in the army.  He has recently been deployed to Afghanistan.  I don't exactly know how to ask this question, but I'm having a hard time dealing with what he might have to do while there.  Does it make me a bad person to love someone who could possibly kill someone else in a time of war?  I just don't know what to think or how to deal with this.  Can he still go to heaven?  I know that God will forgive him if asks for forgiveness, but can He forgive him if he joined, knowing that war was inevitable?

Sincerely,
Soldier’s Bride

Dear Soldier’s Bride,

There is nothing wrong with your husband being a soldier; some of the most faithful men in the Bible were soldiers and had to kill people in the defense of their country.  David was a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam 13:14), and yet David killed many people as a soldier.  Jesus marveled at the faith of a centurion soldier (Matt 8:8-10).  The first Gentile convert was Cornelius, a well-known Roman soldier (Acts 10:22).  When a group of soldiers asked John the Baptist what they needed to do to live a faithful life, he told them to be honest and faithful... but he never told them to stop serving in the military (Lk 3:14).

Lord willing, your husband will never have to kill anyone, but if he does, it won’t be murder (read “Kill Or Be Killed” for more on that topic).  Support your husband with a clear conscience.  Being a soldier is an honorable profession.

     I have a friend whose husband recently asked her for a divorce.  She prayed that they would be reconciled, but he insisted on divorce.  Then she prayed that God would provide her the evidence that he cheated so that when they are divorced, she can remarry.  She now has evidence that he cheated, but I’m worried that doesn’t give her the right to remarry.  Isn't the put-away party never allowed to remarry unless the spouse dies?

Sincerely,
Friendly Concern

Dear Friendly Concern,

Your question is an important one and is one that many Christians wrestle with because of the high divorce rate in American society.  Adultery is wrong, and every divorce is caused because of sin.  God hates divorce (Mal 2:16), and His desire has always been for men and women to remain married for a lifetime (Matt 19:4-6), but it isn’t as simple as saying the put-away party can’t remarry – that isn’t biblically accurate.

Because of the complexities of this issue and because every circumstance is unique, we recommend that people with questions on this subject listen to the sermon series “Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage”, compare the sermons to Scripture, and then faithfully examine themselves to see whether they are living as God intended (Php 2:12).

Hi.  Is it possible for a couple with different religions to have a sound relationship?  And is this against God?  I really love my boyfriend, but he doesn't really have a strong faith in God, if he even believes in God.  Part of me feels like I should leave him, but the other part wants to stay.  What do I do?  Hope this doesn't sound too ridiculous.

Sincerely,
Confused In Love

Dear Confused In Love,

Our religious views dictate how we live our lives.  One’s belief in God (or lack of belief) effects their ethics, how they manage finances, how they raise children, how they treat their spouse, how much effort they will put into marriage (and when they will feel justified in getting a divorce), and a plethora of other aspects in life.  In short, your religious views guide the very essence of who you are.

God designed christians to only marry other people who are “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  A marriage to an unbeliever leaves you unequally yoked because you won’t be building your marriage off of equal vows (2 Cor 6:14).  You will make your vows before God, and he will merely make his vows before man.  We could never, ever recommend that a christian marry an unbeliever… it would simply set you up for heartache and failure.