Is sex before marriage a sin?

Sincerely,
Unsure

Dear Unsure,

Sex before marriage is a sin.  From the very beginning, God designed marriage as the realm for sexual relations (Gen 2:24).  1 Cor 7:1-2 states that any relations outside of marriage are fornication.  God tells us to flee all fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  Even though sexual immorality is rampant in our culture and accepted by our society, that doesn’t make it right.  Christians are called to honor God and honor marriage by leaving the marriage bed pure and undefiled (Heb 13:4).

My ex-wife and I were both members of the church when she decided to divorce me. Am I now free to re-marry?

Sincerely,
Alone and Lonely

Dear Alone And Lonely,

Your question deals with the issue of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.  This issue is a big issue, and each individual must study the Scriptures concerning this before making a personal decision about it.  Whenever people send us questions dealing with marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we always point them toward our sermon series on the topic.  That series should answer most questions about the subject.  If there are still questions after listening to those five lessons – feel free to write back, but please make sure to include your e-mail, so we can contact you directly.  Here is a link to that series of sermons: “Marriage, Divorce, And Remarriage”.  We are so very sorry for your pain and the sorrow you are going through.  We appreciate your desire to do find and do what is right, regardless of the consequences.

Today, many older people cannot afford to marry due to funds they get  each month for different reasons.  They will lose part of their money.  What does a christian do about this problem?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Social Insecurity

Dear Social Insecurity,

There is a reason that the marriage vows include the words “for richer or for poorer”.  We can certainly sympathize with difficult financial circumstances, but money problems aren’t an excuse for living together outside of wedlock.  Young and old alike have financial considerations to factor in when getting married.  God promises that if we trust Him and do what is right, He will always take care of us (Rom 8:28).  If two people truly love each other and want to get married, then they should both count the cost and just say, “I do”.  No matter what, it would be ungodly to have sexual relations outside of marriage (1 Cor 7:2).

My mom was adopted, so we don't know her family history well.  What would you do if you found out your boyfriend of twelve years maybe your cousin?  We have no children together.  He doesn't know we may be cousins... we live together... WHAT DO WE DO FROM HERE?

Sincerely,
Regretful Researcher

Dear Regretful Researcher,

The very first thing you need to do is stop living together before you are married.  More important than any biological issues your future children may have, you are sinning, and that is much worse than any physical problem.  The reason people don’t get married – but instead (outside of marriage) have sex, live together, have children together, and eventually destroy their lives – is because we spend our lives making up the rules as we go.  We live our lives by the “what-makes-me-feel-good-right-now” philosophy.  We have no real standard to live by other than what we feel at the moment.  Like Pilate, we ask, “What is truth?” (Jhn 18:38) because we don’t know where to find the right answers to life.  How can we know what is the right thing to do?  Only the Creator can give us a rulebook for life that allows us to comfortably say, “I’m making the right choice.”  Jesus is the truth, the way, and the life (Jhn 14:6).  All the answers to life are found in His Scriptures (2 Pet 1:3).  If we want our relationships, our families, our careers, and our lives to work, we have to use the manual.

Biblically, there is nothing wrong with marrying your cousin – people did it quite commonly just a couple generations ago.  You would have to consider the medical ramifications of having children, but that is a medical decision – not a moral one.  As we said, more importantly than anything else is that you make your lives right with God.

I have a friend who recently went through a divorce.  His wife got tired of him, and she left him.  She took him to court for a divorce, but he never wanted a divorce.  He tried to stop it and wanted to work things out.  During the court proceedings, he found out that she had found someone else.  After that, he decided that the divorce could go on.  It has been nearly a year since the divorce, and his ex is now engaged.  Does he have a right to remarry since he only agreed to the divorce once he knew she had cheated?  Any help would be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Concerned

Dear Concerned,

Your question deals with the issue of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.  This issue is a big issue, and each individual must study the Scriptures concerning this before making a personal decision about it.  Whenever people send us questions dealing with marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we always point them toward our sermon series on the topic.  That series should answer most questions about the subject.  If there are still questions after listening to those five lessons – feel free to write back, but please make sure to include your e-mail, so we can contact you directly.  Here is a link to that series of sermons: “Marriage, Divorce, And Remarriage”.