(This question is a follow-up to “A Theist And An Atheist”.)

I understand that marrying a non-believer may not be the smartest thing to do because it is likely to cause more problems than if you married a Christian; however, would it prevent me from going to heaven?

Sincerely,
Not An Atheist

Dear Not An Atheist,

No single sin will prevent you from going to heaven, but the mentality of “Well, it’s only one sin; maybe it isn’t that big of a deal”… can.  A murderer who repents of murder can go to heaven (Paul did – 1 Tim 1:15-16).  A thief who repents can go to heaven (the thief on the cross did – Lk 23:39-43).  All sins can be forgiven in Christ (1 Jn 1:7), but what you are asking is different.  You are asking whether or not you can do something wrong and it be okay… that is a dangerous path to travel.  The moment we begin “cutting corners” with our salvation, we run into problems.  We can’t tell you that marrying a non-believer will send you to hell, but we have told you that it is a sin.  A sin is a sin – avoid them all.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who is perfect in every way except that he is a strongly believing atheist, but he never imposes his beliefs on me.  I wanted to know if I married him, would it be a sin, what would happen to my soul, and would it be something that would prevent me from going to heaven?  I am confused when I turn to the Bible for answers because 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 and 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 are contradictory.

P.S. I actually just broke up with him a few days ago because I didn't want to be in a relationship that God didn't approve of.  I still love him but am holding off on my permanent decision of whether to be with him or not until I get this question answered.  Thank you so much.  God Bless.

Sincerely,
Not An Atheist

Dear Not An Atheist,

It is wrong to marry someone who isn’t a christian.  1 Cor 7:12-16 deals with what to do if you are already married to an unbeliever (for example if you became a christian after already being married), and 2 Cor 6:14-18 explains what to do to avoid getting into an unhealthy marital situation.  Paul clearly states that christians should seek to marry only those who are also “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.  People are always on their best behavior during the "wooing" stage of a romance.  When you marry a man, you are deciding that you trust him to be the head of your household (Eph 5:23).  You simply cannot trust a man that doesn’t believe in God to properly guide the direction of your family.  Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.  Do not become unequally yoked to this man.

I have been living with my boyfriend for three years and having sex.  I’m getting very into Jesus and God’s will for me!  I have cut him off, and he’s not taking it well.  How can I explain to him that part of changing my life is following God’s Word?

Sincerely,
Becoming Chaste

Dear Becoming Chaste,

If you are going to serve Christ, you have to commit yourself to living by His standards.  You can show your boyfriend verses like Jhn 15:14 and Eccl 12:13 to explain this concept to him.  However, regardless of your boyfriend’s reaction, you need to move out and set up proper Biblical barriers.  Your decision to serve God must always supersede all other relationships (Matt 10:37).  You are doing a great job of making the difficult decisions to start a new life.  We recommend you read, “What Must I Do To Be Saved” to further your journey of obedience to God’s Word.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT DIFFERENT YOLKS?  I AM SEEING A GUY THAT IS A BAPTIST, AND WELL, I’M CATHOLIC, AND HE STATED TO ME THAT HE WAS CONCERNED ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF OUR RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES!  HE THEN MENTIONED ABOUT THE BIBLE WHERE IT TALKS ABOUT THE DIFFRENT YOLKS BUT DID NOT EXPLAIN.  I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS TRYING TO SAY.  WHAT DO DIFFERENT RELIGIONS HAVE TO DO WITH LOVING ONE ANOTHER?  IF POSSIBLE, I WOULD LIKE FOR A BAPTIST PREACHER TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE DIFFERENCES IN A RELATIONSHIP HAVE TO DO WITH LOVING ONE ANOTHER?  WHAT IS THE INTERPRETATION OF THE DIFFERENT YOLKS IN THE BIBLE?

Sincerely,
SOMEONE THAT REALLY LOVES HER PARTNER REGARDLESS OF THE DIFFERENT RELIGIONS

Dear Someone That Really Loves,

You aren’t going to get an answer from a Baptist preacher here (we are just christians at AYP), but the Bible agrees with your Baptist boyfriend on this one.  God says that we should never be “unequally yoked” (2 Cor 6:14).  Our relationship with God needs to be the central focus of our life (Matt 22:37-38).  Marriage, which is the potential end result of your romantic relationship, is the most intimate union this side of heaven (Eph 5:31).  Marriage to someone that doesn’t have the same values as you is compared to two oxen being yoked to the same wagon with each oxen pulling the cart in a different direction – it will never work!  Solomon is the great example of this.  Solomon was the wisest man on the earth (1 Kgs 4:30-34).  Yet, even with all his wisdom, Solomon’s idol-worshipping wives tore his heart away from serving God (1 Kgs 11:4).  If it can happen to Solomon, it can happen to anyone.

But here is the bright side!  Catholicism isn’t following the Bible… BUT the Baptists aren’t either.  You can tell your boyfriend that he isn’t doing what God says.  Both Catholicism and the Baptist denomination are man-made religions that only take pieces of the Bible and disregard the rest of It.  It is only when we accept the whole Bible that we can be pleasing to God (Ps 119:160).  The world is full of religions that are leading people astray with false teachings.  God tells us that there is only one pattern for His church, and that pattern can be found in the Bible (Eph 4:4-6).  God is not the author of the religious confusion that we see in the world today (1 Cor 14:33).  If you and your boyfriend want to get on the same page spiritually, we would be ecstatic to help teach you about the church of the Bible and how to find one in your area.  Simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

I am a christian and so is my boyfriend of seventeen months, and the question I have is: when you’re in a relationship, do you have relationships with the opposite sex?  I say absolutely not, but my boyfriend feels there is nothing wrong with talking to a girl on the phone.  Why would one want to or have the need to speak to the opposite sex on the phone?  I am baffled by this; am I being a bad christian by not allowing this?  It appears that I don’t trust him, but I feel that talking on the phone with a friend could turn into more if allowed.  Your thoughts on this…

Sincerely,
On The Other Line

Dear On The Other Line,

If you are so concerned that a phone conversation will result in your boyfriend leaving you, you’ve got bigger problems than the phone.  The Bible points out that we will always have interactions with people of the opposite gender.  The key is to make sure those interactions are done in a way that is holy and blameless.  Paul told Timothy (who as a preacher would have had many interactions with women he was not married to) to treat “older women as mothers and younger women as sisters, with all purity” (1 Tim 5:2).

Christians should interact with all people, male and female, in a way that is above reproach (1 Tim 6:14).  Living above reproach means that you are careful to act in a way that shows integrity and avoids all appearances of evil (1 Thess 5:22).  We must always be careful to act with propriety towards the opposite gender as we interact with those in the world and our brothers and sisters in Christ.