I have two questions:

1. I am a married woman, and in the Bible, it says that a wife’s desire is to please her husband, but what if I don't have that?  Is it a sin?  And what if I don't want it?

2. Is it wrong to pray and ask God for a way out of my marriage?

I also want to let you know I'm a christian and love God with all my heart, and I love my husband and do treat my husband well, but I think he needs someone who wishes to please him.

Sincerely,
Runaway Bride

Dear Runaway Bride,

The verse you are referring to is Gen 3:16, and it has to do with the fact that the husband will rule over the household, and the wife will be his helper – it has nothing to do with the personal desire to make someone happy.  The Bible instead says that it is often very hard to want to show respect and love for your spouse – that is why it is a command (Eph 5:33).  God commands us to do things because they are things that are good for us… but not necessarily what we want to do.  Many women don't want to please their husbands, but they choose to do what is in his best interest anyways.  True godliness is built upon a decision to do what is right, even when you don't feel like it.  So to answer your first question: you don't have to feel a strong desire to please your husband, but you do need to try and be a godly, faithful wife.  When you stop trying, that is a sin (Jas 4:17).

To answer your second question: yes, it is wrong to pray for a way out of your marriage.  God doesn't desire for marriages to be destroyed (Mal 2:16), and He wants marriage to be for a lifetime (Mk 10:6-9).  We are told to never pray for things that go against God's will (1 Jn 5:14).  Praying for a way out of your marriage is definitely against God's will.

Why should I wait for sex?

Sincerely,
Just Askin’

Dear Just Askin’,

There are two ways to answer your question.  One way to answer your question would be to list the thousands of statistics that describe how much healthier of a lifestyle monogamy is.  We could explain the risks of promiscuity and the increased failure rate of relationships that pursue intimacy before marriage.  There are studies far and wide that prove the healthiest, happiest, and most well-adjusted relationships are monogamous relationships that wait until marriage… but that isn’t the way we are going to answer your question because as compelling as secular studies are, they aren’t nearly as compelling as the Bible.

The other way to answer your question is to tell you that God says sex outside of marriage is a sin and that we should flee all fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  God designed that level of intimacy for marriage only (Eph 5:31).  Our Creator knows what is best for us, and His Bible says sex outside of marriage is a sin.  That is why you should wait.

My wife and I have been married for thirty-two years, and we have three grown sons (30, 28, and 26). The twenty-six year old refuses to grow up, and my wife won't let him grow up.  He's living with a woman and her two children.  He calls my wife for everything!  He does not have a job, and my wife jumps every time He calls.  This is causing serious stress on our marriage!  I am a preacher, and I want to do the right thing!  A house divided shall not stand.  How should I handle this issue? Thanks.

Sincerely,
Frustrated Father

Dear Frustrated Father,

There is only one verse that is needed to address an adult that won’t work and pay their own bills – “If any will not work, neither let them eat” (2 Thess 3:10).  Financially supporting someone who won’t work, especially in these hard economic times when others are struggling to find work, is wrong.  The Bible advice is simple – no more handouts.  Make the decision, as a couple, that you will stand together and do what is best for your son.  Don’t lay the blame solely on your wife; a husband is responsible for the decisions of his house (Eph 5:23).

What is wrong with racial marriage?

Sincerely,
Color Blind

Dear Color Blind,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with interracial marriage.  First of all, we are all descendants of Adam and Eve (Gen 3:20), and, therefore, race is a moot point.  Secondly, in Christ, such things as race have no significance (Gal 3:27-28).  The only concern you should have when falling in love and marrying is whether or not they are “in the Lord”, i.e. a christian (1 Cor 7:39).

This is a very controversial topic, so feel free not to answer if you see fit.  I don't believe homosexuality is right.   I feel it is sinful and wrong.  I was just wondering, as a religious official, what is your opinion?  And how could someone overcome such a battle?

Sincerely,
Taking A Stand

Dear Taking A Stand,

People may give mixed reviews on homosexuality, but the Bible is very clear – a homosexual lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle.  Rom 1:27 makes it clear that homosexuality is one of the deepest forms of depravity in this life.  Jude 1:7 makes it clear that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because the people “went after strange flesh”, i.e. homosexual behavior.  From the beginning, God designed romantic and physical relationships to be between one man and one woman – for life (Matt 19:4-6).  Any other type of relationship is wrong.

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  Nobody is forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if someone is born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – they aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice.  There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may in fact have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).