What does the Bible say regarding pre-nuptial agreements?  Neither my fiancée or I have ever been married; however, she has inherited a modest-to-fair sum of money, and therefore, has more net worth than I.  Shouldn't my word be enough, that if our marriage ends in divorce, I would not go after her money she inherited before our marriage?  Aren't vows "just words" then, too?  Seems to me that this is starting out the marriage with a lack of trust.

Sincerely,
Not A Gold-Digger

Dear Not A Gold-Digger,

When Jesus was asked about how to divide finances, He responded by saying that He didn’t come to judge money issues (Lk 12:13-14).  In short, the Bible doesn’t say anything about pre-nuptial agreements, but it does deal with the spiritual aspects of marriage.  Regardless of whether there is or isn’t a pre-nup, you both need to be aware that God designed marriage to be for a lifetime (Rom 7:1-3).  You both need to make sure that you are in total agreement that the marriage vows are until ‘death do you part’.

I believe that I'm being called to be a preacher's wife, and I've been praying about it, and I believe I know who it is.  It is the preacher's son.  He is two years older than me, but we are both really young.  Is it all right to get married when you’re young?

Sincerely,
Budding Love

Dear Budding Love,

There is nothing wrong with getting married at a young age, as long as it is done wisely and to the right person.  In fact, the Scriptures talk about rejoicing in the “wife of your youth” (Pr 5:18).  1 Cor 7:36-38 clearly points out that there is no set standard for when men and women can marry.  Once they both have reached maturity, the timing of marriage becomes an issue of wisdom.  There is no right age to marry.

I am married, and my husband and I fight so much that we don’t have any feelings for each other any more.  He doesn't believe in God, and we have a child together; our relationship is nothing but mental abuse, and I know it’s not healthy for any of us to be in this situation, and there is another man that’s in my life, and I feel that we could be happy together.  I'm only twenty, and I know that life’s too short to live this way, and I want my son to treat women better than what my husband does, and I know if I stay with him, my son won’t have a chance.  I don’t’ know what to do.  Please help!

Sincerely,
Wife In Despair

Dear Wife In Despair,

You have some biblical options, but getting involved in an adulterous relationship isn’t one of them!  If you want to be pleasing to God and protect your soul, you must cut off the beginnings of this illicit relationship.  There are ways to make life better for your son, but this isn’t one of them.

Scripturally, there are several things you can do.  You can separate from your husband (1 Cor 7:10-11).  You can also (and should) get counseling with or without your husband (Pr 11:14).  The only scriptural reason for divorce is adultery (Matt 19:9), and from what you have stated, that hasn’t happened.

If you are really concerned for your son’s well-being, then simply separate from your husband with a desire to reconcile if possible.  Your son’s well-being isn’t dependent upon you dating other men… in fact, he will benefit from knowing that you aren’t giving up on his dad – but simply trying to do what is best.

My question regards generational curses.  My mother and father recently divorced.  I have now learned that my mother continues to have relationships with married men.  I somehow feel like her choices in her life will somehow curse me in relationships.  I have recently broken up with a man I thought I would have a future with.  Is this just the enemy trying to defeat me?  Thanks!

Sincerely,
Distressed Daughter

Dear Distressed Daughter,

Children pay for the choices their parents make… but not in the way you are concerned about.  People pay for the sins of those who have gone before.  If your father was an axe murderer, it would affect you, your children, maybe even your grandchildren (Ex 34:7)… but eventually he would be forgotten, and the consequences of his behavior would dissipate.  That is what the generational curse is – that children must live with the repercussions of their parents’ choices.  You are dealing with that right now.

Divorce affects children in horrific and lasting ways.  One of the repercussions is that you begin to doubt whether or not you are capable of having a lasting and faithful marriage.  The doubt and fear you have is a pain you endure because of your mother’s choices… but you don’t have to recreate home.  Every person has the God-given gift of free will (Matt 7:13-14).  God wants every marriage to be happy, faithful, and for a lifetime (Eph 5:31-33).  In spite of your parents’ choices, you can choose a godly spouse and live a godly marriage.  Your parents’ decisions cannot deny you the right to live faithfully and have a fully successful future.  In fact, make it a point to be the person who changes your family tree.

Is it wrong for someone to order a mail-order bride from Russia?

Sincerely,
Groomsman

Dear Groomsman,

There is nothing sinful with an arranged marriage… but we would seriously caution against the lack of wisdom involved in marrying someone without knowing their values.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment (1 Cor 7:39).  Granted, we have very little experience with mail-order nuptials, but it is our suspicion that such arrangements rarely are built upon the foundation of faith in Christ.  Will your bride be a christian?  Will she take your vows as seriously as you must?  What are your motives behind an arranged marriage?  What are hers?  All of these are questions that you should ask yourself.  Marriage is one of the first things God ever ordained (Gen 2:24)… and aside from becoming a christian is the most important decision you will ever make.  It isn’t to be taken lightly.