I was reading the book of Leviticus the other day when I realized that in the list of prohibited marriages, first cousins weren't included.  My question is then: is marrying your cousin a sin?  And if no, then why are most of us Christians appalled at such an act?

Sincerely,
Just Say No

Dear Just Say No,

It isn’t a sin to marry your first cousin.  In fact, it hasn’t even been culturally taboo for very long.  Even two or three generations ago, it was much more common to marry a first cousin.  Today, it is an odd thing to see a first cousin marriage, but it isn’t wrong.  We would even be hesitant to make the statement that, “most of us christians are appalled…” because we aren’t sure that statement is accurate.  Cultures change all the time, and this is a cultural issue, not a Biblical one.

Hi.  I'm a working mom, and my husband is a stay-at-home dad.  I want our daughter to be raised with good, christian values.  He is more worldly.  I don't know what to do.  He is with her a lot, more than I am, but I feel she will have a harder time wanting to serve Christ if we don't do everything we can now to teach her.  Please help.

Sincerely,
Manager Mommy

Dear Manager Mommy,

The only thing that you can do is be a light in your family.  The Scriptures teach that your greatest tool as a woman married to an unbeliever – is your example (1 Cor 7:13-14).  Your example sanctifies your child and husband because your behavior will be a constant voice in their head.  Your choices and actions become a reminder to them that there is another option.  You cannot force your husband to instill morals in your child, just like you cannot force your husband to have the same morals as you – all you can do is provide alternative.  So let your light shine (Matt 5:14-16), pray for wisdom (Jas 1:5), and stand firm by your convictions.  The most valuable thing you have to offer your family is your unwavering moral standard.

How can I prove to my husband that God is real?  He says there is no proof and that I may as well believe in aliens.  He also says that God is just a story that people made up, just like any other god like Buddha.  We have been arguing about this for a couple of months, and I’m beginning to think that God isn’t real because I cannot prove Him at all… in any kind of way. And praying isn’t helping; I’ve prayed and prayed and – nothing.  What do I do other than pray?

Sincerely,
Not A Debater

Dear Not A Debater,

We recommend that you stop talking to your husband about this subject and hand him a list of books to read.  If he reads them, you will know that he is honestly seeking answers... if he doesn't, you can know that he just likes to poke fun at religious people (in which case, you shouldn’t waste your time discussing the issue with him anyway!).  We also recommend you take the time to read these books for your own personal growth and comfort.  There are thousands of logical reasons to believe in the existence of God... and the more we learn about the world around us, the more we find Rom 1:20 to be true.  The whole creation screams of His existence.  Here are a list of books and videos that we find worth reading and watching.

1)    Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel

2)    Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel

3)    Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell

4)    Expelled with Ben Stein

5)    The Mysterious Island with Doug Phillips

6)    Answers with Ken Ham

This is hardly an exhaustive list, but it is a good beginning point for your husband’s investigation into spiritual matters.  Hopefully, he has an honest heart and is willing to search out the matter.

This is a follow-up question to (Etymological Enlightenment).

Then would it have been fine for me to have had a hundred sexual partners before I decided to settle down with one woman, since it’s not adultery?  It’s like there is no punishment for the sin of premarital sex in our modern society, but if I were to have been with one woman in my life and was married to her, and I then divorce her… the church condemns me for it???  But as I mentioned above, sex with a hundred women is okay so long as I wasn’t married to any of them?  That’s a church (people) being hypocritical I think!

Sincerely,
Sin Should Cost

Dear Sin Should Cost,

The Scriptures condemn both behaviors.  Both are equally wrong.  Divorce is wrong, and premarital sex is wrong.  We are not condemning one behavior more or less than the other.  Don't mistake us, both sins are equally wrong.  All sin is worthy of death (Rom 6:23) and can only be forgiven when we turn, repent, and choose a new life in Christ (Gal 2:20).

I have often wondered: is sex before marriage adultery?

Sincerely,
Term Specific

Dear Term Specific,

Sex before marriage is fornication, but it isn’t adultery.  Adultery is the act of polluting a marriage (Heb 13:4).  All adultery is fornication, but not all fornication is adultery.  It is possible to be sexually immoral (‘fornication’ means ‘sexual immorality’) without being married, but it is impossible to commit adultery without having a spouse.