I have been dating a Jewish man, and one of our relationship issues is our belief in faith; I have been raised a christian, and saved as one, I am currently thinking of converting to Judaism for faith, but I will not denounce Jesus as my Savior.  What advice would you give someone in my situation?  I love this Jewish man, but I love Jesus and God as well; can there ever be a happy medium where two faiths can live in harmony?

Sincerely,
Hoping For A Hebrew Husband

Dear Hoping For A Hebrew Husband,

‘Inter-faith’ marriages have disastrous results, an awful track record, and God warns against them. The Bible’s most notorious example of this is Solomon. Solomon’s idolatrous wives turned the heart of the wisest man on the planet away from God (1 Kgs 11:4). If Solomon in all of his wisdom couldn’t resist the pull of a false religion, we should consider ourselves just as vulnerable. There is too much at stake. If your heart is turned away from God, your soul will be eternally destroyed (Heb 3:12).  Our caution would be that you must get on the same page religiously before proceeding any further in your relationship.  Jesus says that He is “the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him” (Jhn 14:6).  Judaism simply won’t save your soul – plain and simple.  Jews are still waiting for the Messiah and they don’t accept the saving blood of Christ.

1. No matter how much you love each other, there are only four possible outcomes for a marriage to your Jewish boyfriend, and only one of them is good:
2. He eventually converts and obeys the gospel, becomes a christian, and is saved (GOOD).
3. You eventually convert and obey the Judaism, and you are both lost (BAD).
4. You both make compromises in your beliefs, and you no longer fully serve the Lord (BAD).
5. You both eventually renounce both of your belief systems, and are both lost (BAD).

The only positive outcome is the first one, and that isn’t any more likely to happen after you are married than before. Either he will eventually convert, or he won’t – getting married won’t increase the odds.

God warns against being ‘unequally yoked’ to someone with different values than you (2 Cor 6:14-16). Once you get married, you are ‘yoked’ to that person with a lifetime agreement. A godly marriage is designed around unity (Gen 2:24). If you aren’t unified on your core belief system, then everything else will be affected. Where will your children go to church? How much money will you contribute to Judaism vs. God’s church? What happens when he wants to put up teach Jewish customs to your family? These are just a few of the thousands of day-to-day problems you will run into. God tells us that a christian should marry someone ‘in the Lord’ (1 Cor 7:39). If he really does love the Lord as much as he loves you, his honesty and humility will guide him to accept the truth. If not, you are both better off knowing before entering into a heartbreaking marriage.

My boyfriend is a non-believer.  I attempt to get him to see that Christ is the only way, and he doesn't listen.  Does God want me to stay with him, or am I wasting my time?

Sincerely,
Good News Girlfriend

Dear Good News Girlfriend,

God says that we should never be “unequally yoked” (2 Cor 6:14).  Our relationship with God needs to be the central focus of our life (Matt 22:37-38).  Marriage, which is the potential end result of your romantic relationship, is the most intimate union this side of heaven (Eph 5:31).  Marriage to someone that doesn’t have the same values as you is compared to two oxen being yoked to the same wagon with each oxen pulling the cart in a different direction – it will never work!  Solomon is the great example of this.  Solomon was the wisest man on the earth (1 Kgs 4:30-34).  Yet, even with all his wisdom, Solomon’s idol-worshipping wives tore his heart away from serving God (1 Kgs 11:4).  If it can happen to Solomon, it can happen to anyone.

Our religious views dictate how we live our lives.  One’s belief in God (or lack of belief) effects their ethics, how they manage finances, how they raise children, how they treat their spouse, how much effort they will put into marriage (and when they will feel justified in getting a divorce), and a plethora of other aspects in life.  In short, your religious views guide the very essence of who you are.
God designed christians to only marry other people who are “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  You will make your vows before God, and he will merely make his vows before man.  We could never, ever recommend that a christian marry an unbeliever… it would simply set you up for heartache and failure.  If your boyfriend is not willing to discuss and listen to spiritual things – it is probably time to throw this fish back; there are plenty of others in the sea.

My boyfriend is a non-believer.  I attempt to get him to see that Christ is the only way, and he doesn't listen.  Does God want me to stay with him, or am I wasting my time?

Sincerely,
Good News Girlfriend

Dear Good News Girlfriend,

God says that we should never be “unequally yoked” (2 Cor 6:14).  Our relationship with God needs to be the central focus of our life (Matt 22:37-38).  Marriage, which is the potential end result of your romantic relationship, is the most intimate union this side of heaven (Eph 5:31).  Marriage to someone that doesn’t have the same values as you is compared to two oxen being yoked to the same wagon with each oxen pulling the cart in a different direction – it will never work!  Solomon is the great example of this.  Solomon was the wisest man on the earth (1 Kgs 4:30-34).  Yet, even with all his wisdom, Solomon’s idol-worshipping wives tore his heart away from serving God (1 Kgs 11:4).  If it can happen to Solomon, it can happen to anyone.

Our religious views dictate how we live our lives.  One’s belief in God (or lack of belief) effects their ethics, how they manage finances, how they raise children, how they treat their spouse, how much effort they will put into marriage (and when they will feel justified in getting a divorce), and a plethora of other aspects in life.  In short, your religious views guide the very essence of who you are.
God designed christians to only marry other people who are “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  You will make your vows before God, and he will merely make his vows before man.  We could never, ever recommend that a christian marry an unbeliever… it would simply set you up for heartache and failure.  If your boyfriend is not willing to discuss and listen to spiritual things – it is probably time to throw this fish back; there are plenty of others in the sea.

My question regards generational curses.  My mother and father recently divorced.  I have now learned that my mother continues to have relationships with married men.  I somehow feel like her choices in her life will somehow curse me in relationships.  I have recently broken up with a man I thought I would have a future with.  Is this just the enemy trying to defeat me?  Thanks!

Sincerely,
Distressed Daughter

Dear Distressed Daughter,

Children pay for the choices their parents make… but not in the way you are concerned about.  People pay for the sins of those who have gone before.  If your father was an axe murderer, it would affect you, your children, maybe even your grandchildren (Ex 34:7)… but eventually he would be forgotten, and the consequences of his behavior would dissipate.  That is what the generational curse is – that children must live with the repercussions of their parents’ choices.  You are dealing with that right now.

Divorce affects children in horrific and lasting ways.  One of the repercussions is that you begin to doubt whether or not you are capable of having a lasting and faithful marriage.  The doubt and fear you have is a pain you endure because of your mother’s choices… but you don’t have to recreate home.  Every person has the God-given gift of free will (Matt 7:13-14).  God wants every marriage to be happy, faithful, and for a lifetime (Eph 5:31-33).  In spite of your parents’ choices, you can choose a godly spouse and live a godly marriage.  Your parents’ decisions cannot deny you the right to live faithfully and have a fully successful future.  In fact, make it a point to be the person who changes your family tree.

There has been something that I have been really struggling with; I am in a wonderful relationship, and my boyfriend treats me very well.  He is very sweet, considerate, and always takes care of me.  I have no problems with our relationship, but I have trouble dealing with his past.  When he was younger, he walked away from God and made many mistakes, but he has since then changed, come back to God, and put his act together.  What I struggle with is he has had multiple partners, and this really bothers me.  My question then is: how do I handle the feelings I have about this? Because he is a very godly man now, I just am having a hard time dealing with jealousy and insecurities from knowing he has been with other women.

Sincerely,
The New Girl

Dear The New Girl,

Sin can be forgiven, but its consequences still affect us.  There is nothing abnormal about being bothered with your boyfriend’s checkered past.  God’s design for marriage has always been one man and one woman for a lifetime (1 Cor 7:2).  Your boyfriend’s previous choices, which he openly admits were wrong, have defiled and marred the beginnings of your relationship (Heb 13:4).  Scripturally, you have no romantic obligation to him one way or the other.  You have to decide whether you can honestly let his old baggage go.  If you believe him to be a good and trustworthy man now (and it sounds like you do), then move forward knowing that all christians come with baggage (1 Cor 6:11).